All Entries Tagged With: "Washington"
Long’s Pedicurist Leaks Reelection Slogan
Springfield, MO—In the wake of the November 2 election, Billy Long’s camp has wasted no time in putting together a plan for his reelection campaign. According to a woman who identifies herself as Long’s pedicurist, Long will abandon his extremely popular “Fed Up?” slogan in 2012. The pedicurist, who would like to remain nameless, claims […]
7th District Hopefuls Have No Vote
Springfield MO—The voting records for all three candidates running for the 7th congressional house seat appears to be rare or non-existent. Each candidate has admitted for whatever reason, that they could not get out of bed and go vote on Election Day. Democrat Scott Eckersley has only voted twice in the past eight years. “Frankly, […]
Eckersley To Live In Van By The River If Elected
Springfield MO.- Seventh congressional candidate Scott Eckersley has vowed not only to take a pay cut if elected, but to cut other expenses by living in his camper van by the Potomac River in Washington D.C.. “I recently came out and said I would take a lower salary from the $174,000.00 representatives make down to […]
Billy Long Gets Well Fed, Fed Up
Springfield, MO—Missouri’s 7th Congressional District hopeful Billy Long ate another meal and possibly made new political friends at the same time. According to Billy it went like this. “I was on a doughnut run for my staff when I came upon this group called the Well Fed Neighborhood Alliance. I thought it was an offshoot of […]
Former Governor Plows Over Defenseless Citizen
Springfield police issued a ticket to former Missouri Governor Matt Blunt Monday evening for failing to yield. Police say Blunt was traveling southbound on Kickapoo Avenue when he stopped for a stop sign at Cherry Street. Police say as Blunt pulled into the intersection, a scooter struck his Ford Explorer. “Wow. That’s not cool. I […]
