All Entries Tagged With: "Utilities"
79 Spartans Vote to Victory!
Sparta, MO—Spartan voters approved issuing $2.5 million in bonds for improvements to the water and sewer system in Sparta this past week. The new water and sewer system will include a bottomless pit for sewer waste that shall remain uncovered and reside within the center of the city. Only scantily clad Spartan warriors will stand […]
Rates: CU Ups Yours
Springfield Mo.- Due to a proposed utility rate increase of up to 23% by October 2013, some residents of Springfield have threaten to disconnect services from City Utilities. “I have had it with all the rate hikes. I’m not paying CU another dime,” commented Joe Natureback a soon to be ex-CU customer. “I’m gonna dig […]
Loud Bang Caused By CU “Bang” Machine
Springfield, MO—A loud bang near Weaver and Golden was caused by City Utilities’ new “bang” machine. City Utilities maintains that the machine is operating properly and is in no way malfunctioning. “We purchased a 100 million dollar bang machine because our customers need to hear a spectacular noise from time to time. Who else is […]
