All Entries Tagged With: "Transportation Security Administration"
Residents Mourn Inevitable Closing of Newly Opened Store
Springfield, MO – Downtown Springfield shoppers got a treat this Monday when “Munch ‘n Muse” treated customers to free peach vegemite cupcakes during their grand opening celebration. The store, which sells designer cupcakes, indigenous Australian artifacts, and locally produced art and figurines, will cater to downtown shoppers looking for a creative gift or snack- until […]
TSA Implements Hokey Pokey At SGF Airport
Springfield, MO— The head of the Transportation Security Administration said Sunday that he would try to make airport screening “as minimally invasive as possible,” and introduced a new screening procedure that includes dancing the “Hokey Pokey” which will replace aggressive pat-downs that have rankled passengers and lawmakers. As the busy travel season approaches, TSA agents […]
New Airport Terminal Thanks to Terrorists
Springfield—The long-awaited, $115 million Midfield Terminal will open Wednesday, thanks in large part to terrorism. “Yeah, the terrorists have won again, we’re going to move to the new awesome terminal instead of the old shabby terminal that is inadequate for security purposes,” said Kent Boyd from the Springfield-Branson National Airport. The old terminal has run […]
