All Entries Tagged With: "Transportation and Logistics"
Holiday Traffic Drives Man Crazy
Springfield, MO – Lewis Hankerton attempted to drive 2 miles south of his home on Thursday to pick up trash bags and dishwasher detergent “real quick” only to be greeted with the snarling entrapment known only as Holiday Traffic. Hankerton quickly escaped his driveway and was making great time down his neighborhood side streets. Wide […]
CU Lands on Cloud City for Bus Hub
Springfield, MO – Local City Utility officials have decided that the best option for building a new bus transfer station will be in the sky. Bus Cloud Station 14 will be built by 2014 and will hover above downtown Springfield, directly above the existing bus station. “It really is a great solution, we don’t […]
Bus Driver Quits, Exits Via Bus Ramp
Springfield, MO—Career bus driver Lou Stitall was charged with criminal mischief, reckless endangerment, and trespassing after an argument with a passenger led to an apparent meltdown on Campbell Avenue. Authorities said Stitall dropped several f-bombs on the City Utilities bus’ loudspeaker, grabbed two smokes, then deployed the bus’ emergency ramp, and took off. According to […]
Nonstop Flights Hold Passengers Captive
Branson, MO—Branson Airport has added two new nonstop flights that never stop. Branson AirExpress, operated by ExpressJet Airlines, will operate the nonstop flights May 17th. The nonstop flights are a first for the airport which usually operates between destinations. Offering nonstop flights comes with unique requirements such as mid-air refueling and restocking of supplies. The […]
Branson Airport Adds Animal Mounts to Planes
Springfield, MO—Not to be outdone by the Springfield-Branson National Airport’s increase in passengers, the Branson Airport has unveiled plans to add hunting trophies to the interior of each flight arriving and departing from the terminal. “Most airports have distinct personalities, we have a rustic outdoor sporting feel and the taxidermy has been a welcome addition […]
Traffic Cones Outnumber Ozarks Population 3:1
Springfield, MO—Recent statistics show that for every Ozark inhabitant, three highway cones exist. The rise in traffic cone population is directly related to the numerous construction projects occurring around the area. Missouri Department of Transportation officials confirm that approximately 500,000 cones exist within Springfield city limits. Citizens are allowed to take the allotted cones once […]
Line of Disappointed Public Transit Seekers at Trolley’s
Springfield, MO—Occasionally long lines of commuters seeking a ride through the city will form outside Trolley’s, a popular downtown Springfield restaurant. Last weekend more than 35 people assembled waiting to purchase a seat on Springfield’s Trolley. “The sign says ‘Trolley’s’ so there better be a dang ol’ electric powered car to haul my butt around,” […]
Hammons Tower Again Voted Springfield’s Tallest Building
The results of the annual “Best of 417” poll are in, and once again, residents have voted Hammons Tower the area’s tallest building. The 270-foot structure, which dwarfs the other greenhouses and barns nearby, won easily in its category. Tower namesake John Q. Hammons could not be reached for comment and is not expected to […]
Branson Airport Sees Infinity Percent Growth over May 2008
After months of posting no gains in passenger numbers traffic hit an unexpected surge in May. Airport officials said Thursday that May passenger numbers were up “like a ka-jillion percent” compared to May 2008, marking the airport’s busiest month on record. The increase comes after several years of and flat figures. “The May numbers are […]
Truck Trap Foils Two Trucks in Two Days
Springfield, MO—For the second day in a row, another illiterate truck driver has succumbed to the “truck trap” low overpass at the Grant and Commercial intersection. “Man, I could sell tickets to this event. It’s like a free demolition derby out here. Watching vehicles with not too quick drivers try and squeeze under this overpass […]
Branson Airport Celebrated With Congestion
Branson—This past weekend thousands of people gathered to celebrate the opening of the new $155 million Branson Airport in highway 76-style: waiting in traffic. Yes, Saturday hundreds of visitors sat in traffic for hours before even reaching the new facility to enjoy the Branson air show. Branson Mayor, Raeanne Presley, said, “our citizens have a […]
New Airport Terminal Thanks to Terrorists
Springfield—The long-awaited, $115 million Midfield Terminal will open Wednesday, thanks in large part to terrorism. “Yeah, the terrorists have won again, we’re going to move to the new awesome terminal instead of the old shabby terminal that is inadequate for security purposes,” said Kent Boyd from the Springfield-Branson National Airport. The old terminal has run […]
