All Entries Tagged With: "traffic"
Person Dancing to “Happy” Angers Drivers
Springfield, MO – Several motorists driving south on Glenstone reportedly witnessed one horrifying act after another, as the driver of a sub-compact car sang and danced to Pharrell Williams hit song “Happy”. Reports included displays of awkward dance moves including a shoulder hunch, random rapid finger points and multiple waves at other drivers. “What was […]
Traffic Cone Guy Hunts Bad Drivers
Springfield, MO – Based off of numerous first-hand accounts, the Missouri Department of Transportation has a new ally in the fight for highway safety and it is known as Traffic Cone Guy. Several motorists have claimed that they have been stopped after an unsafe merge or careless driving by the robotic monstrosity and issued a […]
Holiday Traffic Drives Man Crazy
Springfield, MO – Lewis Hankerton attempted to drive 2 miles south of his home on Thursday to pick up trash bags and dishwasher detergent “real quick” only to be greeted with the snarling entrapment known only as Holiday Traffic. Hankerton quickly escaped his driveway and was making great time down his neighborhood side streets. Wide […]
Councilman Road Warrior to Patrol City Streets
Springfield, MO – City voters have bestowed a unique honor upon a brave councilman after he displayed dogged-determination and excellent decision making skills to pursue and confront a poor driver; the new position–a division of the street enforcement team – will be known as City Councilman Road Warrior. “He’s pretty good at finding less than […]
