All Entries Tagged With: "Texas"
Devil Offers Golden Fiddle to Firehouse Fiddle Contestant
Springfield, MO – Last Saturday, fiddle players from as far away as Idaho, Oklahoma and Texas arrived at the Firefighters Union Hall to participate in the locally supported Firehouse Fiddle Contest. According to sources, one player was approached by a shadowy figure near the end of the day. “This shadowy looking dude jumped up on […]
Springfield Survives 42-Minute Drought
Springfield, MO—The clouds finally opened with their life bringing rain, thus ending the torturous 42 minute drought plaguing the Springfield area. The drought occurred from 3:18 to 4:00, marking the longest time Springfield has not seen rain in weeks. “I didn’t think we were going to make it,” said Charles Flagstaff, a Springfield resident. After […]
1950’s Ad Executives, Private Investigators, and Hollywood Starlets All Decry Smoking Ban
Springfield, MO- According to numerous sources, many 1950’s Ad Executives, Private Investigators, and Hollywood Starlets decried the smoking ban that passed in Springfield on April 5th. The ban, starting June 5, will restrict smoking in all public buildings such as restaurants, clubs, or bars. “I can’t believe this“, states Grant Rogers as he nervously […]
Railroad Claims Diesel Spring Natural Miracle
Springfield, MO—Recent event have forced a spotlight on the amazing diesel spring located on property owned by a local railroad company. Springfield officials are claiming that the DNR or EPA should investigate further, as the City doesn’t wish to accept responsibility for the contamination that runs into the Jordan River that deposits into Table Rock […]
Fuzz Challenge Drunks to Dodge Saturation
Buffalo, MO—Missouri Highway Patrol Troop D will conduct four driving-while-intoxicated saturations in Dallas County in June, July, and August with no element of surprise. So if you’re planning to drink those months in that area well, let this serve as a heads-up. Areas selected for enforcement are based on a high number of drinking-related traffic […]
