All Entries Tagged With: "storm"
Ozarkers Thankful for Endless Winter
Springfield, MO – Residents had reason to celebrate yet another winter storm this week as thundersleet, snow and freezing temperatures blanketed the Ozarks. Locals had feared that another winter weather pattern wouldn’t been seen until next year but those fears were relieved when the old man winter crapped out another round of shitty weather. “I […]
Large Red Blob Threatening Ozarks
Springfield, MO – Meteorologists are reporting across the region of a looming, red blob that will enter our area on Tuesday and hang around causing unknown damage and other things. The red blob was first reported by meteorologist Hans Zeenit who proclaimed “Red mass…headed to….Ozarks” before collapsing from fear. Speculators are speculating that the red […]
Hurricane Sandy Expected to Merge with Ozarks Tornado, setting off New Madrid Fault Line
Springfield, MO – Local weather experts are fearful that hurricane Sandy will turn its sights onto the Midwest after it destroys the Eastern Coast of the United States. After already merging with a nor’easter and clashing into Arctic winds, Sandy is growing stronger each day. “This storm has an appetite that cannot be contained. If […]
Springfield Stocks Up
Springfield MO.- With bad weather arriving and more on the way the citizens of Springfield do not want to be caught “out in the cold.” Grocery stores have reported that people have been coming in and buying the basics to get them through the hard times. “Our sales almost triple when bad weather is predicted.”, […]
McDonald’s Overwhelmed With People Preparing For Snow Storm
Springfield, MO. –Deemed the worst storm to hit the Ozarks since 2003, the massive snow storm front sweeping the nation has been called many names such as: “Snolocaust”, “Snowpocolypse”, even “Snowmageddon”. Its impending smack down in our region has local residents preparing for the worse. “I’m not going to get caught with my pants down […]
Storm-crazed Meteorologists Track Weather
Local TV weather personalities lost their effin’ minds over last night’s exciting storms. Like green on a pickle, area weathermen and women were beside themselves with joy as they tracked potential deadly weather racing across the Ozarks. As ominous clouds gathered, KY3 reporters Ron Hearst, Dave Snider and Brandon Beck jumped into the air and […]
