All Entries Tagged With: "St. Louis Missouri"
Mother Nature Gives Cardinals Out
Springfield, MO—The St. Louis Cardinals canceled their exhibition game against Double-A Springfield set for Tuesday night at Hammons Field, citing an ominous possible defeat at the hands of the underling team. Tuesday’s match was set for 7:07 p.m. and officials expected to draw a sold-out crowd of more than 9,000 before the “big” Cards […]
Hammons to Fork Over Land
Springfield, MO—After paying $7 million dollars for the vacant lot next to the Springfield Expo Center, John Q. Hammons plans to sell back the property to the City of Springfield for $1.00, after spending $500,000 on plastic forks to be inserted into the land. Hammons released a statement to the Springfield Business Journal saying he […]
Doctor Collects Lightning for Experiments at Shrine Mosque
Springfield, MO—Local physician Dr. Fran Kenstine has located his new practice in the basement of the Shrine Mosque and has yet to announce formal office hours or accept any patients. In fact, no one has been seen coming or going from the clinic since it opened earlier this month. “I think he must be working […]
“Speed Hump” Signs Around the Block
Springfield, MO—City officials are standing firm behind their decision to post a sign stating “Speed Hump” on St. Louis Street, west of downtown indicating a bump used to reduce vehicle speed. Opponents have suggested that the sign promotes promiscuity at high velocity and state the original authors are out of touch with modern conversation. Proponents […]
Two Trains Equation Solved In Sleeper, MO
Sleeper, MO—Two trains collided on the main BNSF line between Springfield and St. Louis last Monday morning answering the 7th grade algebra question: Where will two trains meet if train A leaves Springfield traveling at 35 mph and train B leaves St. Louis traveling at 45 mph? In Sleeper, Missouri just north of Lebanon. Three […]
