All Entries Tagged With: "Springfield Missouri"
ROTFLMAO Laughing Yoga Studio Opens Soon
Springfield, MO—Laughter yoga classes will be offered next month at ROTFLMAO located in the Glen Isle Shopping Plaza on South Glenstone avenue. Laughter yoga or laughter therapy promises to relieve stress and strengthen the immune system through strange body movements and hysterical fake laughing. Combining the art of yoga with the element of laughter is […]
City Considers Urban Cockfighting to Boost Economy
Springfield, MO—The city’s planning department is considering creation of an ordinance allowing Springfield residents to keep fighting roosters to boost the economy. Backyard gamecock ownership is a worldwide trend that the City plans to capitalize upon. Citizens are invited to attend the American Gamefowl Society meeting to gather public comment on raising cocks tonight at […]
May Horoscopes
Fair City News is proud to present monthly horoscopes to help readers navigate life’s hills and valleys. Zodiac icons designed by Aaron Thweatt The problem of impotence is generic levitra canada found very commonly nowadays. Experts and medical researchers are still clueless regarding what causes fibroids to develop. cialis prescription Date pastes are used a […]
Being Right…All The Time!
Mike McMichealson Motivational Columnist/Speaker You know how sometimes you can’t get people to do what you want them to do. I tell people what to do for a living so hear me when I say….don’t take no for an answer. Motivation is ultimately born out of a willingness and eagerness to be a raging know-it-all […]
Hammons to Fork Over Land
Springfield, MO—After paying $7 million dollars for the vacant lot next to the Springfield Expo Center, John Q. Hammons plans to sell back the property to the City of Springfield for $1.00, after spending $500,000 on plastic forks to be inserted into the land. Hammons released a statement to the Springfield Business Journal saying he […]
Candidate “C” Named As Finalist For MSU Presidential Job
Springfield, MO—Missouri State University has announced the first of 4 candidates, a Mr. “C”, as a finalist for their top job. FCN has learned Mr. C is rumored to have an uncanny resemblance and likeness to Dr. Richard “Dick” Head. Dr. Dick Head is getting considerable attention and buzz because he reportedly loves to attend […]
Ozarkers do the Artsfest Shuffle
Springfield, MO—Thousands of Artsfest attendees participated in the Artsfest Shuffle this past weekend, moving their feet at half the speed of normal pace. Slow walking and sidestepping were the main dance moves of choice among the herd of people who strolled Walnut Street. “I’d always heard Artsfest was so crowded that you had to do […]
Hobo Fountains Open In JVP
Springfield, MO—Hobos around the country are rejoicing the opening of the Ozarks Stream and Fountain at Jordan Valley Park. Hundreds of vagabaughns are expected to take advantage of the free running water to cleanse themselves for the first time this year. “Baffs are good to have whens you gots fresh water running. The fountain is […]
Local Post Office Tests Stamps for E-mail
Nixa, MO—In the wake of the recent projected financial loss of more than 7 billion, the United States Post Office has been searching avidly for new sources of revenue or cost cutting methods, and they just might have found one: stamps for your e-mail. “We had heard that there was a way to transmit letters […]
Evangel Guards Go Beyond God’s Armor
Springfield, MO— Evangel is the first university in the Ozarks to add lethal weaponry to their arsenal of first line defenders. For years the university had relied upon pieces of God’s Armor for protection, however, now the security officers are allowed to pack man-made heat. The University first bestowed crime-fighting technology upon its protection force […]
Local Pervs Devastated by Boobquake Fail
By Snawt T. Buble Springfield, MO—Not everyone is breathing a sigh of relief now that the planet has been spared the predicted boobquake. Local authorizes have arrested three local perverts, Big Jim and the Twins and another person of interest named Chub for allegedly pitching a tent within 50’ of the entrance to Victoria’s Secret […]
Petition for More Annoying Petitions Circulates
Springfield, MO—Among the recent onslaught of annoying petitioners in downtown Springfield, a new petition has begun circulation to increase the amount of petitions. Zebediah Kennard, local artist and self-proclaimed downtowner, remarked, “I’m really glad this new one came along, for a while there it seemed like all the petitions were about to dry up!” Recently […]
Icelandic Volcano Affects Ozarks
Springfield, MO—According to reports, Ozarkers have been severely affected by the volcanic eruption in Iceland. Several SGFers have claimed the eruption as a disruption in their daily lives. “I was a model husband until that volacano erupted, since then I’ve had three mistrissess and my infidelity sees no end,” said Robert Geohorn. “My fried chicken […]
Cauliflower Bank Opens
Springfield, MO—A new vault of sorts has opened on the south side of town, one that allows customers to stockpile vegetables of a certain variety, specifically cauliflower. The new cauliflower bank sprung up as a resource for food stockpiling and is sponsored by AGCU and features a huge stalk of cauliflower as the logo. “The […]
Nonstop Flights Hold Passengers Captive
Branson, MO—Branson Airport has added two new nonstop flights that never stop. Branson AirExpress, operated by ExpressJet Airlines, will operate the nonstop flights May 17th. The nonstop flights are a first for the airport which usually operates between destinations. Offering nonstop flights comes with unique requirements such as mid-air refueling and restocking of supplies. The […]
