All Entries Tagged With: "Sport utility vehicle"
Church Traffic Is Parking Lot Purgatory
Springfield, MO —After a wonderful church service preaching harmony and brotherhood, First & Harmony United Church members were hell bent on getting out of the parking lot. Cutting off Deacon Grover, Rebecca Shroud – the Children’s Music Minister – stealthily avoided a collision and exited onto Cherry Street, freed to meet her friends at lunch […]
Slim Pickin’ for Parking Spots
Springfield, MO—This holiday season Ozarkers are “pickin’ parking spots” aggressively. Employment of this new method of securing the perfect parking spot in crowded store lots includes use of abusive language, obscene gestures and if needed a common ice pick. Drivers have been seen patrolling lots for several minutes waiting for a prime parking location near […]
Former Governor Plows Over Defenseless Citizen
Springfield police issued a ticket to former Missouri Governor Matt Blunt Monday evening for failing to yield. Police say Blunt was traveling southbound on Kickapoo Avenue when he stopped for a stop sign at Cherry Street. Police say as Blunt pulled into the intersection, a scooter struck his Ford Explorer. “Wow. That’s not cool. I […]
Kamikaze vehicles destroying remains of economy
One store at a time, vehicles avenge poor auto sales. Springfield—For the past three months, Springfield businesses have been singled out and attacked by merciless and meticulously planned automobile strikes. One local retail storefront per month has been crushed by high-speed attack. “Ramming storefronts is just wrong. I mean, we have complaint boxes for suggestions […]
