All Entries Tagged With: "Santa Claus"
Tis the Season…but glad it is over!!
It is official; the holidays bring out the worst in us. It used to be a time where folks would greet each other on the street and share good tidings…now, you get in the way, and someone gives you a shot of pepper spray. So, this is who we have become. I suppose nothing has […]
Local Gnome Humping Spree Spreads Gonorrhea
Springfield, MO – According to the Springfield Greene County Health Department, gonorrhea cases have increased a whopping 20% over the last month. Experts have identified the Gono-Gnome as the disease transmitter – a small sexually active beast that attacks teenagers, young adults and African Americans with little regard for safety or personal hygiene. […]
Deflated Yard Decorations Terrifying During the Day
Springfield, MO—After the sun goes down Bernard Frinton’s Christmas decorations light up any person’s heart during the holidays, however, during the day the deflated Santa’s, snowmen and mess of lighting is enough to scare any holiday revelers right out of their elf shoes. “We drove by the decorated house today while going to the store […]
Local Bums Ride Train Posing As Santa
Branson, MO— The Branson Scenic Railway’s Polar Express has become overrun with hobos and train jumpers claiming to be Saint Nick. Unsavory transients have flocked to the inaugural officially licensed train ride event near the Branson Landing due to the ease of hitching a ride. “Sure we just go ‘round and come back, but it […]
City of Springfield Lights Tree, Makes Wish List
Springfield, MO—Saturday night the City of Springfield gathered her closest friends, circled around the ol’ Christmas tree and lit her ablaze officially welcoming in the holiday season. Several dignitaries attended and scribbled their individual Santa Claus requests upon a scroll located at a large table. Mayor Jim O’Neal said all he wanted for Christmas was […]
