All Entries Tagged With: "Road"
New Digital Road Signs Offer Vague Advice
Springfield, MO – Distant and vague messages such as “Seatbelts Save Lives”, and “Speed Limit Enforced” have begun to appear on Springfield’s newest digital road signs begging the question: why? Local motorist Luke Feelyajum said, “I thought the messages would be a bit more useful than what I’ve seen so far. Perhaps a […]
Wheelchair-Chasing-Pedestrian Crossing Unveiled
Springfield, MO—A new street crossing has been added to the thoroughfares of town, a place where wheelchair bound people can run down pedestrians in order to cross the road. Several disabled people claim the new sign as a huge success. “I love it. I get to mow people down in my ride if they are […]
Douchebag Sign Warns Residents Of Douchebaggery
Oak Grove Heights, MO—A blinking highway sign in eastern Greene County is catching the attention of drivers. It’s not about road conditions, but a warning that douchebags are on the rise in the area. The sign reads “Sheriff’s Douchebag Alert, Please lock your doors.” It’s sparking a lot of talk, and a lot of d-bag […]
SPRINGFIELD CELEBRATES 5,000TH STOPLIGHT
The City of Springfield installed its’ 5,000th stoplight, which became operational yesterday morning. The new stoplight is located at the intersection of South Chambery Avenue and Michelle Place in southeast Springfield, in a quiet subdivision just north of East Battlefield Road. Springfield city leaders opted to celebrate the milestone by passing out gold-plated stoplights mounted […]
Kitty Littered Lawn Not City’s Problem
Springfield, MO—A nice summer’s day turned ugly for one homeowner after a city street sweeper flung a cat’s deceased body onto her lawn. Apparently, the City of Springfield refused to remove the road kill deposited upon the sod as the decomposing mass did not meet the selection criteria for removal by the street cleaning scout […]
