All Entries Tagged With: "Oklahoma"
Devil Offers Golden Fiddle to Firehouse Fiddle Contestant
Springfield, MO – Last Saturday, fiddle players from as far away as Idaho, Oklahoma and Texas arrived at the Firefighters Union Hall to participate in the locally supported Firehouse Fiddle Contest. According to sources, one player was approached by a shadowy figure near the end of the day. “This shadowy looking dude jumped up on […]
Local Douchebag Felt Earthquake More Than You
Springfield, MO – Despite an epicenter nearly 250 miles away, local douchebag Stan Liston claimed that he was “totally rocked by the quake, probably more than you.” Liston recalled his horrific story this morning while having breakfast with several of his friends at Gailey’s. “We were all at the same party last night […]
Branson Landing “Boom Sale” Promotion Backfires
Branson, MO—Yesterday, several Branson Landing vendors were dealt a cruel hand as they launched their newly themed “Boom Sale” to gain additional sales during the tourist off-season. “If we’d known that there was going to be some douche bag placing bombs near ATMs we would have never proceeded with the promotion,” said Branson Landing management, […]
Railroad Claims Diesel Spring Natural Miracle
Springfield, MO—Recent event have forced a spotlight on the amazing diesel spring located on property owned by a local railroad company. Springfield officials are claiming that the DNR or EPA should investigate further, as the City doesn’t wish to accept responsibility for the contamination that runs into the Jordan River that deposits into Table Rock […]
Black-Eyed Kids Eat Free at Incredible Pizza
Springfield, MO—America’s Incredible Pizza Company, located at 2850 S. Campbell Avenue, has announced that all Black-Eyed Kids eat free every Tuesday from 5-10 pm. A new Black-Eyed Kids buffet menu has been implemented and executives hope that the new promotion will provide a safe place for the BEK to find ample nourishment. “The Missouri Ozarks […]
