All Entries Tagged With: "Mother Nature"
Army Corps Refuses Rain Water for Table Rock Lake
Branson, MO – The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers announced Friday that its agreements to run Table Rock Lake, including acceptance of rain water, was beyond the scope of the Corps’ authority. Tours of Table Rock Dam have been canceled, as have any natural collections of rain water, but all other recreation areas on the […]
Mother Nature to Missouri: Is That Enough Water For You, You Babies?
Springfield, MO- With rain seemingly falling constantly for a period of days, many Ozarkians are wondering why this rain could not come earlier to relieve the drought ridden summer. In yesterday’s press conference Mother Nature was very direct in her answer. “You whiners complained about no rain all summer. Well, you want some water? Here […]
3 Illegal Recipients of Joplin Fund Face Wind Tunnel
Springfield, MO – Three Joplin residents have admitted in federal court that they obtained disaster benefits after last year’s deadly tornado they weren’t entitled to receive and now face punishment via an wind torture tunnel. Acting U.S. Attorney David Ketchmark says 51-year-old Wanda Gail McBride, 30-year-old Ronald Martell Irby and 37-year-old Karen Marie Parks pleaded […]
Pensmore Mansion Swallowed By Sinkhole
Highlandville, MO – The indestructible castle Pensmore, formerly known as Overwatch Manor, was afforded every protection available to architects, however, a good ol’ fashioned Missouri sink hole has provided an unseen set back to the colossal project. This week an enormous sink hole consumed Pensmore in an 800 foot collapse into the Ozark Mountains. […]
Fall Postponed To Late November
Springfield, MO- Due to numerous set backs and mistakes Autumn will be coming months later than usual. The ridiculous heat and humidity will continue until after Thanksgiving. The delay is contributed to many factors. The cooler weather was lost in the mail due to a shipping error. The order form for yellow, red, and […]
Ft. Wood Attacked by Mighty Black Tornado
Springfield, MO—Fort Leonard Wood was recently attacked by a mighty black tornado, ripping through soldier’s ranks like a tear in a lost lottery ticket. The force of nature completely dominated the most powerful military force on Earth with little regard for repercussions. Former President Bush said, “These tornadoes are devastating, when cold and warm air […]
Crippling Winter Storm Placed on Cancellation List
Springfield, MO—Thousands of Ozarkers awoke to a disappointing morning of little snowfall accumulation this morning. According to news reports this area was expecting 8-12 inches of snow prompting school, business and social cancellations. “I was planning to take off from work, read a book and watch a few movies, but now thanks to Mother Nature […]
Swing Right Golf Adds Water Hazard
Springfield, MO—Local driving range and miniature golf course business, Swing Right Golf, added a new water hazard last week. Water hazards, like bunkers, are natural obstacles designed to add both beauty and difficulty to a golf course. Swing Right Golf owners reportedly wanted to increase the profile of the practice course by situating a natural […]
