All Entries Tagged With: "McDonald"
Man convinced Newt Gingrich is Phil Donahue in Fat Suit
Springfield, MO - Twenty nine-year-old Springfieldian Nat Alther, who is a die-hard Newt Gingrich fan, said he believed the man who has been running for President and calls himself Newt Gingrich is actually Phil Donahue in a fat suit. Mr. Alther discovered this while pretending to be a busboy at a local Holiday Inn where […]
Mayor McCheese Wins MO Caucus!
Springfield, MO – At the Caucuses in Greene County Saturday, an unexpected entry from McDonald’s Mayor McCheese made for some interesting votes. McCheese arrived at the voting just in time for lunch, offering the crowd some free Big Macs, McRibs, and fries. “I heard the clowns were in town and forgot that the Circus was […]
Occupy McDonald’s Group Demands McRib
Springfield, MO – McDonalds confirms to FCN that a group of five known as Occupy McDonalds has been loitering in the lobby of the Cherry Street location since November 1, when it was learned that the McRib was to be discontinued again. Occupy McD’s Spokesperson Greg tells FCN, “For a long time we have […]
McDonald’s Squawk Box Changes Voice
Nixa, MO—According to reports, a person with multiple personalities is working the drive thru at McDonald’s in Southwest Missouri. Leonard Hillary, a local customer, claims that every time he visits the McDonald’s located on HWY 14 near US 160 the person asking for his order uses two different voices. “I pulled up and this woman […]
Redbox Rentals Suck Life for $1.00
Springfield, MO—Located at area McDonald’s, groceries and other heavily trafficked areas, Redbox vending machines are magnets for long lines of indecisive cretins. “I was in line for 10 minutes to get one movie! Just let me in and I can get my video and get out,” said Springfield native Joey Harbong. When presented with a […]
