All Entries Tagged With: "Lady Gaga"
Michael Buble Impregnates 80% of Women at JQH Arena
Springfield, MO—The soothing tones of crooner Michael Buble effectively impregnated a majority of the female audience during his performance at the Q this week. During the concert one female attendee was overheard screaming “Oh yes, yes, yes! His voice is throbbing inside of me!” before passing out on the concert floor from exhaustion. “Bubble-head […]
Meat Clothier Moves to Ozarks
Springfield, MO – Franc Fernandez, creator of Lady Gaga’s infamous “meat dress” was seen in downtown Springfield last week looking for studio space. According to sources close to the designer, Fernandez is looking to create more meat and animal inspired designs and therefore moving to the Midwest close to farmlands is a natural progression […]
Lady Gaga To Headline Annual I Love America Celebration
Springfield, MO – James River Assembly stunned local church watchers today announcing Lady Gaga as the headliner for next years’ I Love America annual celebration. A volunteer spokesperson for the Super-Center sized church said, “Lady Gaga was snatched from the jaws of drug addition by her dearly beloved dead Aunt Joanne and she has a […]
BPS Attraction Rejects US Currency
Springfield, MO— Due to the declining value of the United States dollar, tourism officials at Bass Pro Shops have decided to no longer accept the American currency at the request of King George. Specifically, the Bass Pro Shops alligator, King George, has requested that no US quarters be tossed into his swamp exhibit. He does, […]
