All Entries Tagged With: "History"
Springfield History Museum Sign Wins Subtle Award
Springfield, MO- With the lighting of the Springfield History Museum sign last week, many Springfieldians are excited about the prospect of a new and exciting historical experience in the heart of Springfield. Not only did the sign excite the general public, but the National Subtlety Association. The NSA (the one that give awards to nuanced […]
Success of Hearing Museum on C-Street Spawns New Sensory Museums
Springfield, MO – Tucked away on E. Commercial Street for years, the History of Hearing Museum has been a go to place for aural enthusiasts, from those with hearing-aids to music audio-philes. The gallery contains a treasure trove of hearing technology from by-gone eras. While some may be confused by its name, the History of […]
“Cox” & “Swallow” Street Signs Vandalized Again
Springfield, MO – An unfortunate intersection bearing a lewd name has once again been vandalized, in fact the street signs at Cox and Swallow have routinely been stolen only to be proudly displayed in a mancave, garage or fraternity house. “Swallow Cox – get it?!” said Nick Jubery, a sophomore at Missouri State University, “You […]
Mike’s Friends; Dan’s Friends Call For Cease Splashing, End of Dunk War
Chesterfield Aquatic Center, MO- Representatives from Mike’s friends and Dan’s friend called for an end to all splashing, hopefully paving the way to end the 15-minute dunk war. Mike and Dan have been friends since kindergarten, but have grown apart during their 4th grade year leading to some low-key hostilities. The powder keg was […]
Corsages, Hair Spray, and Gun Polish Sales Are At An All Time High Due to Prom Season
Springfield, MO- The Springfield economy has gotten a boost thanks to prom season. Corsages, hair spray, and gun polish sales are at a record high thanks to the teenage rite of passage. Punch, tuxedoes, limousines, and mace are also in high demand. “It makes me so sad my little girl is growing up,” states […]
Retired Playboy Bunnies Arrive for Easter Weekend
Springfield, MO—Retired Playboy Bunnies sprung up this morning across Springfield’s major intersections. The aged gals wore traditional Easter Bunny costumes announcing that the Holy Day was coming as if it were the end of the world. Most passerby’s simply honked in appreciation. One thoroughly surprised traveler was shocked when he stopped his car and […]
Einstein Bros Bagel Company Creates Uranium Enriched Bagel
Springfield, MO- After years of pain-staking research, Einstein Bros Bagel Company finally created its first uranium enriched bagel. The bagel has not only been described as delicious, but also low in fat and high in death; the destroyer of worlds. The bagel is on sale now and is a big hit with numerous demographics. […]
Bitter Old Miser Shown True Meaning of President’s Day
Springfield, MO- Edgar Scrumb, owner of Scrum Mortgage and Loan, was taught a valuable lesson about caring, giving, and the true meaning of President’s Day by three spirits. Edgar’s horrify night started after telling his employees they have to work on President’s day. That night he was visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln and […]
Biden Visit “Big Effin’ Deal”
Springfield, MO—On Thursday Vice President Joe Biden was greeted by Springfield residents with a huge banner that read “Have a nice Effin’ Visit”. Biden, who will attend a private fundraiser for Senate hopeful Robin Carnahan (D), has only a few hours scheduled in the Ozarks before he zips off to another campaign stop in Seattle, […]
Frickin’ A…
As I go through life everyday…I live, I love, I work and I say Frickin’ A. Everyday, I see things that make me stop and say, “Frickin’ A.” For those who like to abbreviate, FA would be fine. Let me elaborate. When I am driving and let someone into traffic ahead of me and they […]
Woodruff, McDaniel Buildings Sold To History Channel
Springfield, MO—The Woodruff and McDaniel buildings on Park Central East have been sold to the History Channel to be featured on a future episode of Life After People. A History Channel representative said filming will begin once the buildings start to show signs of visible decline, which should be soon since the utilities have been […]
Jefferson Avenue Footbridge Not Actually Shaped like a Foot
Springfield, MO – For years the name of “The Jefferson Avenue Footbridge” has been a source of classroom debates, heated dinner conversation and late-night radio station call-ins. FCN has attempted to bridge the gap between the name of the bridge and the reason for the name of the bridge. Many have speculated the bridge was […]
MLK Celebrated with 24-Hour Sale!
Springfield, MO—January 18th marks a day of social awareness, great sacrifice and fantastic deals now through closing at local retail stores. On this day people of all ages and backgrounds will come together to improve lives by spending less on goods they likely don’t need but would purchase at full retail prices any other time […]
MO D.O.C. Reports Positive Economic Numbers
Jefferson City, MO—Missouri‘s Department of Corrections has announced that the state’s prison population has reached an all-time high amid poor economic conditions. This is the first report from a government agency regarding positive growth since mid-2007. The Department director attributes the fantastic growth numbers to an increase in criminal activity, due to soul-crushing economic pressures. […]
Medieval Times Find New Home In Classic Location
Springfield, MO—A taste of the Middle Ages is coming to the Ozarks, housed in a classic building with a long and storied past. In October, Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament will occupy the space formerly used by casual dining tenant Steak and Ale Restaurants. The parent company of Steak & Ale filed for chapter 7 […]
