All Entries Tagged With: "hipster"
Hipster Couple Mistakenly Enters Actual Old Bar
Springfield, MO – Unwittingly Lars Nettles and Feather Presnorth, a hipster couple here in the Ozarks, stumbled into one of the area’s oldest and coolest bars by mistake. The duo are known for discerning taste in watering holes and the late night entrance into Silverleaf Taproom on Republic road was a rare swerve in straight […]
New Downtown Walmart Offers Cool Hipster Hangout
Springfield, MO- With the new Walmart successfully rezoned near downtown, Walmart Spokesmen assures downtown regulars that this won’t be their “Father’s Wal-Mart”. The downtown Walmart is promised to bring a vibrant, cultural experience to area youths. “Listen, we understand what you cats are jiving about,” says 58 year old Walmart public relations manager, Kurt Stevens, […]
Hipster Refuses to Remove Beanie, Suffers Heat Stroke
Springfield, MO – A local resident suffered from a heat stroke yesterday because he was too warmly dressed while walking through downtown Springfield in the humid, 99-degree weather. Jacoby Trapper, a known hipster, reportedly “refused to take off his slouch beanie” despite the heat because he “wasn’t some mainstream sell-out.” “He should have at […]
Hipster Discovers He is a Hipster
Springfield, MO—Last weekend local hipster, Seth Trenton, was crushed to discover that he was, in fact, a hipster. Friends reported that Trenton was socializing at The Outland Bar before heading to one of his friend’s house shows, when, all of a sudden, he dropped his PBR to the floor and ran out crying. “No, he […]
