All Entries Tagged With: "Health care"
Billy Long Cardboard Cutout Agrees to Debate
Springfield MO - After weeks of negotiations between the seventh congressional candidates, Billy Long has agreed to a question and answer session between himself and his democratic opponent Scott Eckersly. The date for the event is scheduled for November 1st, one day before the election. According to the terms of the debate, sources have indicated […]
St. John’s Black Friday Sale Discounts Healthcare
Springfield, MO—Early morning Black Friday shoppers lined up to receive up to discounted medical care last week at St. John’s Hospital. Hundreds of shoppers braved the weather camping out all night waiting for the special healthcare deals to kick in at 5 am. “People started lining up at 8 pm the night before, staking their […]
Doctor Collects Lightning for Experiments at Shrine Mosque
Springfield, MO—Local physician Dr. Fran Kenstine has located his new practice in the basement of the Shrine Mosque and has yet to announce formal office hours or accept any patients. In fact, no one has been seen coming or going from the clinic since it opened earlier this month. “I think he must be working […]
McCaskill To Be Burned At The Stake
Springfield MO- Claire McCaskill, a Democratic senator representing Missouri, is set to be burned at the stake in her next scheduled town hall meeting. The town hall meeting will be held at Missouri State University in Strong Hall room 100 and all are welcomed to attend. After initial questioning, mostly focusing on President Obama‘s health […]
Massive Layoffs Exhaust Local Agency Execs
Springfield, MO—After a long day of layoffs, local advertising agency executives find that relaxing with a nice bottle of 1870 Blandy’s Verdelho Solera Madeira is the best way to relieve the stress of swinging the pink slip ax. “I had to cry for, like, all day,” said one executive. “Fortunately, this really expensive wine I’m […]
