All Entries Tagged With: "ha ha"
Record High for Ozark Haunted House Foreclosures
Springfield MO- Haunted house foreclosures in the Ozarks are at an all-time high leaving various ghouls, ghost and other creatures of the night homeless. Because of the foreclosures the abominations of evil are having to move into hotels, stay at relative’s houses, or (in case of trolls) pan handle under a bridge. Many are […]
Bullies Look Forward To Start of School Year
Springfield, MO- Numerous bullies around the Springfield area are very excited to start the new school year. During the summer the bullies have had to make do with harassing neighborhood kids, small animals, siblings, weak step-parents, and cabbage patch dolls. But, now with school starting the bullies can really hone their craft and perfect […]
July Horoscopes
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Osama Sushi Roll Unveiled in Ozarks
Springfield, MO—Local sushi hotspot Komodo Dragon has unveiled it’s latest creation: the roll they are calling the “NoMoOsama Roll”. Made up of roasted goat, a dash of crude oil and just a hint of spent ammunition, the NoMoOsama is a hit with local patrons who wish to celebrate the demise of Public Enemy Numero […]
Blunt Campaigns In Arizona
Springfield MO and Phoenix AZ-Senate hopeful Roy Blunt from Springfield Missouri is now running campaign ads showing how he is helping the people of Arizona, California, and Texas by leading the fight against illegal immigration. Tony Trueblood, Blunt’s senior political adviser, says that there is no motivation other than political emotion for Roy Blunt to […]
“Siht-&-Stay” Opens at Kum & Go
Springfield, MO – Kum & Go, a national gasoline chain, published a press release detailing plans to open a new chain of dog training stores, the “Siht-&-Stay”. The idea struck a senior executive officer within the company when he decided to forego the company motto and stay at one of their stores for more than […]
Woman Can’t Tell Difference Between Dora, Kai-Lan
Springfield, MO—Local grandmother Ellen Younger frustrated last minute shoppers as she blocked an isle at the Walmart Independence location trying to decipher if the toy she was holding was Dora or Kai-Lan. “Now this must be Dora,” she said holding a Kai-Lan doll. Her shopping partner Nola Rigsby concurred, then retracted her judgment saying, “well, […]
BPS Attraction Rejects US Currency
Springfield, MO— Due to the declining value of the United States dollar, tourism officials at Bass Pro Shops have decided to no longer accept the American currency at the request of King George. Specifically, the Bass Pro Shops alligator, King George, has requested that no US quarters be tossed into his swamp exhibit. He does, […]
