All Entries Tagged With: "greene county"
County Jail Photos Scanned for Potential Mate
Springfield, MO – Local criminals are taking to the Greene County Jail photo gallery of bookings to find a potential mate. Hosted on the SpringfieldNewsleader site, users refer to the gallery via multiple names including Booking.com, Crook.com and IncarcerCupid.com. “The crime and courts gallery allow those interested in finding a partner to match their criminal […]
GD Home Restoration Accurately Named
Springfield, MO – Local signage has struck a chord with homeowners looking for restoration, goddammit. GD Home Restorations is recognized as one company that is willing to put the frustrations of home renovations on their shingle, one salty curse word abbreviation at a time. “I saw the sign and thought ‘at least they know what […]
Real Estate Boom in Greene Co. Jail
Springfield, MO – Most jails are not a place where room and board are sought after, however, the Greene County Jail is so overcrowded that a black market has developed within the jail house: crime lords are selling the space at a premium. Want a personal cell…expect to pay over $2,000/month for a one room, […]
Viebrock to Wrestle Arnott in Steel Cage Match
Springfield MO.- The ongoing feud between presiding Greene County Commissioner Jim Viebrock and Greene County Sheriff Jim Arnott will soon be settled when they wrestle each other in a steel cage match at the shrine mosque later next month. What will be the main event for the night is being billed as “The Battle […]
Turkey Trot Course Hampers Sausage & Gravy Run
Springfield, MO—Kent Louizer, a local breakfast connoisseur, is making plans to visit his favorite breakfast shop Thanksgiving morning based on the Turkey Trot road closures. “The dang ol’ race isn’t going to keep me from getting my sausage and gravy,” stated Louizer. According to Louizer, each year at Thanksgiving he has to make a special […]
Greene County Outsources Court Cases
Springfield MO—The overwhelming caseload for Greene County attorneys looks to be tamed by a much needed solution; starting August 15th, excess court cases will be outsourced to attorneys in India and Pakistan. Video teleconferencing in Greene County courtrooms will allow remote debating to conduct trails. Attorneys from foreign countries will be granted licenses to practice […]
Petition for More Annoying Petitions Circulates
Springfield, MO—Among the recent onslaught of annoying petitioners in downtown Springfield, a new petition has begun circulation to increase the amount of petitions. Zebediah Kennard, local artist and self-proclaimed downtowner, remarked, “I’m really glad this new one came along, for a while there it seemed like all the petitions were about to dry up!” Recently […]
Portrait Packages Available at County Jail
Monday the Greene County Sheriff’s Office unveiled a new Web site containing the booking photo and charge information for inmates in the Greene County Jail. Now the Green County Jail is offering a portrait package for those wanting to capture their memories inside the slammer. The Greene County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday announced a new […]
