All Entries Tagged With: "Drugs"
Law Enforcement Surprised Ozarks Actually Imports Meth
Springfield, MO – Police officials are puzzled by a new study which shows that the Ozarks are actually a major importer of the addictive drug known on the street as Meth. Said one source, “to be honest, we thought we were a pretty major exporter.” The news was alarming to exporters as well. “I thought […]
Meth House of the Week
Springfield, MO – Cuddled away in a nice corner of town in a secluded neighborhood, the Mettleton’s home is this month’s featured meth house of the week. Containing a toxic stew of chemicals that have saturated walls, ceilings, floors and carpets with meth, mercury, lead, iodine, lithium and poisonous solvents, this home provides hints of […]
Flavored Meth Featured at Taste of Springfield
Springfield, MO – Native cuisines will be featured at SW Missouri’s growing festival, Taste of Springfield, this weekend downtown on the square. One specific booth will feature a recipe widely regarded as more popular than Chef David Leong’s cashew chicken: methamphetamines. The flavored meth booth will be one of 25-30 local restaurant exhibitors, cooking technique […]
Scooby Doo and “McGruff The Crime Dog” Debate Marijuana
Springfield, MO- With a spirited debate taking place in City Hall about the marijuana, Springfield may be next to get the “munchies”. Because of the new discrimination law being addressed the Ozarks may be feel a public debate will help the public see both sides of the issues. The debate will be between two famous […]
METH HEADS RALLY AGAINST COCAINE DEALERS
Springfield MO.- The recent arrest of area cocaine dealers has gain support from an unlikely source. Nick Wethead, president of the Ozarks Meth Men has proposed that profiling be encouraged to rid the town of anyone that has the possibility of using cocaine instead of locally produced meth. “There is meth to our madness.”, […]
Local Stoners Disappointed by Lack of Munchies
Springfield, MO—City Councilmen Doug Burlison, and Dan Chiles spoke to a packed crowd at their forum on medical marijuana at the Library Center last evening. The crowd was an odd mix of the immensely old and the college hippies marking the first union of these age groups since the 1985 Congressional hearings on music censorship […]
Sonic Releases “Meth Menu” In Missouri
Cape Girardeau, MO—Seeking to steal share from the QSR burger industry, a Sonic restaurant employee developed a stimulating and illegal menu of methamphetamine infused menu items. The new Meth Menu debut was halted by police who were called to the store in Missouri in the wee hours on Thursday morning. The shift manager, 22-year-old Dennis […]
Artwalk’s Blazin’ Brownies are N.O.R.M.L.
Springfield, MO—The Springfield, Missouri branch of The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws served baked brownies Friday night during Artwalk. Passer-bys were greeted with friendly smiles at the booth and occasional outbursts of chuckles. A spokesperson for the group said, “Through this bake sale we hope to spread awareness of our cause, and […]
