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Geese Kill Man in Gang Related Retaliation

Springfield, MO – In what city leaders fear may escalate into all out interspecies gang warfare, a man, Charles Donald, 45, was found dead in his yard, the victim of an apparent honk-by. Five geese were seen by witnesses walking by the yard, then attacking with wings and beaks ablazing. The geese immediately flew off […]

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Circus Elephant Granted CCW After Drive-By Shooting

  Willard, MO – After a drive-by shooting in Mississippi, a circus elephant is now traveling after securing a conceal and carry permit. Two months after being injured in a drive-by shooting, Carol, a 39-year-old Asian elephant hopes to be performing soon. While spending several weeks recovering at a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey […]