All Entries Tagged With: "City Council"
Officers Equipped with Soap Guns for City Council Meetings
Springfield, MO – Following Mayor Stephen’s recent declaration banning swearing, officers providing protection at City Council meetings will be equipped with a new piece of law enforcement equipment– a soap gun. City leaders worked with the police chief and considered numerous equipment enhancements including Super Soakers filled with soapy water, a fire hose filled with […]
Springfield Up in Smoke
Springfield, MO – Springfield’s city council voted to pass an ordinance that would minimize the penalty for marijuana possession this week, opening the door to smoke-outs, ganja jungles, blunt block parties and year-round bud seasons. When asked about the measure, city council members used numerous mentions of “man”, “like” and “dude” while answering reporter questions, […]
Mayor O’Neill Suddenly Re-Signs
Springfield, MO – With a term set to expire in April 2013, and with no intentions of running for a third term, Mayor Jim O’Neill suddenly announced this week that he is planning to re-sign. O’Neill has always put his heart and soul into the position, however, most council members expected him to leave office […]
Councilman Road Warrior to Patrol City Streets
Springfield, MO – City voters have bestowed a unique honor upon a brave councilman after he displayed dogged-determination and excellent decision making skills to pursue and confront a poor driver; the new position–a division of the street enforcement team – will be known as City Councilman Road Warrior. “He’s pretty good at finding less than […]
City to Hire Red Light Regulators
Springfield, MO—City council is suspending efforts to re-activate its red light camera system and opting to hire 12 people to monitor traffic at major intersections. The new hires are possible due to sales tax revenue increases of 2.28 percent over last year. These new Red Light Regulators will be the first new hires in […]
Anticipated Snow Melt To Boost City’s Revenues In An Unlikely Way
Springfield, MO – As local temperatures begin an anticipated 70 degree swing towards the positive over the next few days, Springfield City Council is planning on generating some revenues in a most unusual way….they’ll be selling off all of the surplus salt they’ve accumulated for this storm to local Chinese restaurants. “I don’t know about […]
Neighbor Chokes Man’s Chicken
Springfield, MO— Apparently it isn’t just City Council who is evenly divided over the decision allowing up to six chickens to be boarded in the city limits. Residents of the affluent Highland Springs Country Club gated community watched in horror late yesterday as two of their own residents, 34-year-old Reginald “Reggie” Waddlesworth, a prominent stay-at-home-dad, […]
SGF City Council Stares at Goats
Springfield MO—People that hope to raise chickens in their backyards may soon have goats to go along with them. An attempt to allow the citizens of Springfield to have two goats on their property is being sponsored by Tom Tuttle, president of the Ozark Goat Ropers Club. “With all this newfound evidence of growing and […]
Rates: CU Ups Yours
Springfield Mo.- Due to a proposed utility rate increase of up to 23% by October 2013, some residents of Springfield have threaten to disconnect services from City Utilities. “I have had it with all the rate hikes. I’m not paying CU another dime,” commented Joe Natureback a soon to be ex-CU customer. “I’m gonna dig […]
Springfield City Council Approves Calumet City Loan
Springfield MO- With some reservations about the plan, Springfield city council voted unanimously for a loan for the redevelopment plan for Calumet City, an abandoned Hot Dog Stand located in downtown Springfield behind the main post office. The developer, Ken McCow has already received a $3 million dollar loan from the Missouri Development Board as […]
Businessman Offers to Not Develop Heer’s Building for Fifty Dollars
Springfield, MO—Local maverick businessman, Sonny Pomade, showed up at Monday night’s Springfield City Council meeting and offered to not develop the controversial Heer’s Building for a mere fifty dollars. “I just felt it was my duty to take the burden of not moving forward with the renovation on my own shoulders,” Pomade commented, as he […]
Public Helps City Identify Vacant Buildings
Springfield Mo.- City officials in the Building Services Department in Springfield Missouri say the public response to the call to locate and identify vacant buildings has caught them completely off guard. A recent editorial in a publication called the News- Leader urged the general public to call officials when they saw an abandoned building. “Our […]
Officials Claim Heer’s Building “Too Big To Fail”
Springfield, MO – In what might be viewed as a controversial move by local citizens, Springfield City Council has determined that the Heer‘s building is “too big to fail” and plans to inject cash into the project immediately and for the foreseeable future. “What many so-called “common people” don’t seem to get is just how […]
O’Neal’s Springfield Cage Match To Raise City Funds
Springfield, MO—In light of the recent economic downturn that the entire nation is enduring, Springfield Mayor Jim O’Neal has come up with a unique way to boost both the morale and coffers of the Queen City. In a bold and unprecedented departure from “politics as usual” Mayor O’Neal has publicly called out the mayors of […]
CID To Hire Pied Piper For Commercial Street Bums
Springfield, MO—A half-cent sales tax along Commercial Street is closer to becoming a reality after the City Council voted Monday. Money generated from the proposed tax would go toward building a web site that would market Commercial Street, with funds also used for additional police patrols, snow and trash removal, business recruitment and retention, transportation […]
