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Hammons, Pitt & Morris Combine to Defeat Mayan Apocalypse, World Celebrates

Springfield, MO – After months of secret collaborative efforts three native Springfield businessmen have successfully thwarted the impending doom predicted by final days of the Mayan Calendar. John Q. Hammons, Brad Pitt and Johnny Morris appeared disheveled and bruised early this morning but beamed proudly at their world-saving accomplishment. According to reports, the men played […]

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“Huge Asteroid No Threat to Earth” Laughs, Running and Screaming Astronomers

Springfield, MO – Local astronomers are claiming that the large asteroid flying in nearly the same orbit as Earth will make a close pass by the planet, but there’s no chance of an impact. Several astronomers at Baker Observatory, Ozarks Amateur Astronomers Club (OAAC) confirmed that claim while packing several cases of survival food packages […]