All Entries in the "Opinion" Category
Mike the Intern’s Take
Usually, I try to tie in some kind of theme for the month, but for May, I really didn’t want to make a list of songs that were about stupid flowers or anything like that so I decided to take another path. This month I am going to feature songs by bands that are talking […]
Scooters…
Well…spring is approaching and you know what that means, people on scooters. While I am not an overly violent man, seeing a person on a scooter makes me very, very angry. Hearing the buzz from those ridiculously little engines triggers a fight or flight mechanism in me unlike anything I have ever experienced. These little […]
Mike McMichaelson Inspirational Speaker
Valentine’s Day… Awkward! Nobody knows what exactly to do with this holiday. While it does bridge the gap between Christmas and Easter, it really adds no significance to society. As a matter of fact, I would say it is just the opposite. For some, Valentine’s Day is a time to spend with the one you […]
Barney…
Child number three and Barney, much to my chagrin, is still around. His programming may have been discontinued but he still lingers in the form of these ghastly videos. Somehow, this goofy, purple, dinosaur-looking bastard transcends time and makes a mockery out of the pain and disappointment that is the real world. For Barney and […]
The Dentist – Motivational Speaker
Let’s face it (no pun intended), The Dentist, while probably a decent human being, SUCKS!! Nobody, and I mean Nobody, likes to go to The Dentist. All the horror of humanity is ingested and, at times, spewed out of this ghastly ring we call our mouth and there is only one that truly knows what […]
The Garage Sale – Motivational Speaker
The time is 5:30 am and as the sun rises, today will not be any ordinary day. Someone wraps at your door. When you answer, there stands an old man with one thing in mind; he saw the ad and he wants your golf clubs. You didn’t grab your glasses before you answered the door […]
Sleep…
You get too much and you are groggy…you get too little and you are cranky. Sleeping seems like such a waste of time…most of us sleep 1/3 of our day away. Yet, we have this sort of love-hate relationship with sleep. Likely, we feel pretty good when we lay down and just a few hours […]
20 Years…
The big reunion is coming up. The year was 1991 and other than the obvious 40lbs I have gained since my high school graduation, I look a lot like I did back in the day. Of course, things have changed a bit. I haven’t worn a turtle neck under a button down shirt in […]
FCN Investigates: John’s Mr. Zippy’s Express Wash
The Fair City News Investigative Unit was first contacted by PETA when, by all appearances, a penguin was being forced to wash cars at the corner of Sunshine and Kansas Expressway. While the penguin was not immediately visible to patrons and “Mr. Zippy” appeared to only be a cute mascot, PETA was concerned that the […]
We Are Free but We Are Fat
We are the fattest nation in the world…free, happy and proud…but fat. We actually have shows about it. These shows, in a way, glorify the “big people.” These shows take a bunch of fatties that have obviously been “living large” and now are crying about it…all the while, the skinny [bitchy] little trainers get off […]
Halloween…
I love this time of year…the cool, crisp fall air, the turning of the leaves and, yes, the lone fall holiday…Halloween. Things have changed a bit over the years. This holiday used to be about hanging out with friends and eating candy. These days, it appears that the blood and guts has turned to whores […]
Where are the drivers? A basic dissertation with basic motivation…
Dissertation: As I left my house early one Sunday morning, I drove by one of the many establishments of ill repute here in Springfield and, as usual, I saw a number of automobiles left behind. Remnants, no less, of a good time gone bad and a sign that there will be patrons coming back on […]
The Fair…
Although I dread going, every year I find myself there…the fair. It is not a pleasant experience but yet somehow thousands of people flock to this virtual hell hole every year. They bring their friends, their neighbors, their livestock, their neighbors livestock and pretty much anyone who will come. The fair somehow supersedes reality by […]
Frickin’ A…
As I go through life everyday…I live, I love, I work and I say Frickin’ A. Everyday, I see things that make me stop and say, “Frickin’ A.” For those who like to abbreviate, FA would be fine. Let me elaborate. When I am driving and let someone into traffic ahead of me and they […]
Springfield…Big City?? I don’t think so…
Mike McMichealson Motivational Columnist/Speaker I went to a nice restaurant recently…that will remain unnamed…and it came to my attention that some people here in Springfield really think they are a “big deal.” Seriously, let me remind all of you, we are a far cry from the “big city” and in this Podunk town, there is […]
