All Entries in the "Weather" Category
The Heat Is Off
Springfield MO—Relief from the 100-plus degree days of summer will soon be on the way to the people of Springfield. “We didn’t know what to tell people on how to cool down,” said Bill Bosco senior spokesman for the Springfield Health Department. “While driving around doing our health inspections we noticed that people in Southern […]
Weatherman Steals Sportscaster’s Thunder
Springfield, MO—Amid threats of severe weather in the Ozarks, one local sportscaster once again lost airtime to boring weather updates. A stupid severe thunderstorm watch drained a local sportscaster of precious minutes to cover life changing events such as an almost perfect baseball game, the retirement of an aging baseball player and an update on […]
Stone County Tornado Caller
Abesville, MO—Emergency management executives in Stone County will soon hire a Tornado Caller once the aging, expensive-to-maintain tornado/storm sirens are removed June 1st. The county says the existing sirens are too expensive to maintain and “having Ol’ Lou make the rounds in his pick ‘em up truck a hollerin’ a folks” will be much more […]
KY3 Weather Watchers Training Seminar Spawns Brawl
Springfield, MO—What began as a friendly gathering of KY3 Storm Team Weather Watchers apparently turned rancorous and physical during a recent monthly training exercise. According to on-lookers, Chief KY3 Storm Teamer Ron Hearst was concluding a particularly complicated presentation on the proper way to launch a weather balloon when “all hell broke loose” between rookie […]
Unknown Energy Sphere Seen Over Springfield
Springfield, MO—Local residents were alarmed yesterday by the presence of a large gaseous sphere hovering over the Ozarks’ skies yesterday. Many Springfieldians reported temporary blindness and momentary confusion while glancing at the heavens. “This is a land of gloom, clouds and semidarkness. We’re not supposed to have exposure to this kind of thing…this sunshine. We […]
Crippling Winter Storm Placed on Cancellation List
Springfield, MO—Thousands of Ozarkers awoke to a disappointing morning of little snowfall accumulation this morning. According to news reports this area was expecting 8-12 inches of snow prompting school, business and social cancellations. “I was planning to take off from work, read a book and watch a few movies, but now thanks to Mother Nature […]
KY3 to Sell StormTracker 1, 2
Springfield, MO—Officials at KY3 have announced plans to auction off old weather forecasting equipment given the proven reliance of StormTracker3. StormTracker1 & StormTracker2 will be listed at a public auction this weekend. All proceeds will go toward the the purchase of future needs and an anticipated StormTracker4. During a dramatic camera pan Chief Meteorologist Ron […]
Wednesday Weather Chart = Trippy Forecast
Springfield, MO—A local newsman blew several viewers minds by showing a radar screen filled with psychedelic images symbolizing Wednesday’s weather patterns. Cries of “whoa”, “maaaaan” and “dude” were heard in living rooms across the Ozarks. One viewer, Moonbeam Johnston said, “I saw like a beautiful unicorn soar across the sky during the weather report and […]
Snowplow Driver Creates Snow Maze
Springfield, MO—Kyle Hertz, a local snowplow driver for the City of Springfield created the area’s coolest snow maze out of boredom yesterday in the Battlefield Mall parking lot. Hertz was credit with the artistic, mind-challenging creation after several hours of work and tedious snow plowing. According to sources, Hertz was seen plowing excess snow into […]
Giant Hanging “L” Seen Over Skies
Springfield, MO—Residents were panicked to see a giant floating letter in the sky this past weekend. A large capital “L” was reportedly seen with occasionally triangle shaped unidentified objects. “I saw the UFOs coming over the sky and I was just certain that aliens were coming back to claim their planet Earth they abandoned 5000 […]
Table Rock Sauna
Branson, MO- What started as a very typical summer with a rainy Memorial Day Weekend has turned into a very atypical June with record temperatures. An unpleasant byproduct of this weather is the already extreme temperature of lake water at Table Rock Lake. Soaring over 90 degrees, local residents and lake goers are reacting to […]
Artsfest Inspires Precipitation
Springfield—Walnut Street swelled with crowds ready to browse the art filled curbs intent to celebrate spring this past weekend. Tents filled with crafts, paintings and foods align annually at this time of the year to form Artsfest. Unbeknownst to the casual observer, this ritual triggers a predictable climactic change known as “rain”. World-renowned climatologist Dr. […]
Storm-crazed Meteorologists Track Weather
Local TV weather personalities lost their effin’ minds over last night’s exciting storms. Like green on a pickle, area weathermen and women were beside themselves with joy as they tracked potential deadly weather racing across the Ozarks. As ominous clouds gathered, KY3 reporters Ron Hearst, Dave Snider and Brandon Beck jumped into the air and […]
