All Entries in the "Entertainment" Category
Pablo (Escobar/Picasso) Tunnel Discovered
Springfield, MO – A curious tunnel has been discovered at National and Sunset street, with a simple message painted on it “Pablo” leading skeptics to believe that Pablo Escobar once used the tunnel for trafficking narcotics or more over that Pablo Picasso hid revolutionary paintings along the route for safekeeping. “We know one thing, the […]
4-Year-Old Boy Shows No Progress from No Shave November, 4th Year in a Row
November is not just a time for people to give thanks, but it is also a time for males to prove their ability to grow facial hair. However, for a young 4-year-old Springfield boy, that is hardly the case. Since he was born, Aaron Larson has made sure that he isn’t the only male […]
Frozen Turkeys Hidden Along Turkey Trot Route
Springfield, MO – Newcomer to the Ozarks grocery scene, Hy-Vee Inc., plans to give back to the community by donating 200 frozen turkeys to elevate the annual Turkey Trot event. The frozen poultry will be placed along the race route in hidden locations where racers are encouraged to find them and take them home. Racers […]
Get Your Seat Here!
City Hall announced today the criteria for the city council seat that has come open due to the latest resignation. The mayor’s office announced today that the criteria is pretty simple, “We want someone with the common sense of Todd Akin and the lovability of Tom Trtan. We offered the job to Trtan, but he’s […]
Obama Calls It Quits After Redskins Loss
Springfield, MO – The local democratic campaign office has announced that President Obama will not seek another term after the Washington Redskins lost to the Carolina Panthers this past weekend. The report referenced Obama’s decision was based solely upon the Redskins Rule, which has accurately predicted the outcome of every presidential election since 1940. Obama […]
DopeStrong Bike Syringe Arrives
Springfield, Mo – Local bike shops are anticipating the arrival of a new product made popular by a little-known cyclist named Lance Armstrong. Armstrong launched the product to make doping more convenient for professional riders who compete in one of the dirtiest sports around. The DopeStrong allows riders to strap a doping needle directly to […]
Big Bird Migrates to Branson Theater
Branson, MO – Upon Mitt Romney’s announcement that he’ll fire Big Bird, offers to the beloved Sesame Street icon have been pouring in. FCN has learned exclusively that Mr. Bird has been offered a show in Branson. Mr. Bird commented in an exclusive interview, “I’m in negotiations to take over at Yakov’s theater next year […]
Apple Maps Drive SGF to the Core of Frustration
Springfield, MO – Apple’s new iPhone mapping software has caused quite a few problems in Springfield, FCN has learned. “I spent 3 hours following my iPhone trying to find the corner of Glenstone and Campbell to find that damn Jack in the Box,” St Louis native Andrea Piacello said in disgust while eating tacos from […]
Strippin’ Section of Sunshine Street Leads to Awkward Conversations
Springfield, MO- Charles Cranward’s trip down Sunshine street caused many awkward situations due to the numerous strip clubs and adult novelty shops on Tuesday. When the mid-level accountant drove from Bass Pro Shops to his home in west Springfield with his two daughters, Madison (age 9) and Lizzy (age 5), he had to face a […]
Robert E. Smith Mona Lisa Discovered
Springfield, MO – Leonardo da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” has just become more mysterious due to the discovery of another painting unearthed by late local artist Robert E. Smith. The Smith version of Mona Lisa predates the original and begs the question, how did he do it? “Smith was always a timeless personality – I had […]
