All Entries in the "Entertainment" Category
Bass Pro Shops Enlists Uncle Buck and Calendar Girls as Driver and Crew
Springfield, MO—In a deal announced last week, Martin Truex Jr.’s move to the Michael Waltrip Racing team means the NASCAR driver is donning Napa Auto Parts’ name instead of Bass Pro Shops. BPS has announced that they will employ longtime brand ambassador Uncle Buck to race and his team of aging calendar girls to work […]
Lazers focused on Kournikova’s Wrist Action
Springfield, MO—The Springfield Lasers have forced the hand of Anna Kournikova (Анна Ку́рникова) as she has agreed to add a pre-match autograph session for all ages during Friday’s World Team Tennis match at Cooper Tennis Complex at an undisclosed location. Lasers spokesman Bob Nelson confirmed team officials couldn’t say when or where the session would […]
Gator Added To Ozarks’ Monster List
Harrison, AR—MonsterQuest plans to investigate an alligator sighting in the Ozarks’ Lake Harrison. Ever since word spread of the alligator sightings in the lake and a nearby creek, locals have been on the lookout for the elusive creature. “Yeah, I think I’d rather deal with Paul the Nixa Hellhound than an alligator monster in our […]
MJ’s Memorial Ceremony For Springfield Man a Thriller
Springfield, MO—Tom Garrett, a man from Springfield, is one of a million fans who registered to attend Michael Jackson‘s animatronics stunt double’s memorial ceremony in Los Angeles and won tickets to attend the event. In a stunning announcement, Jermaine Jackson, in an interview with Today Show host Matt Lauer, revealed that Jackson faked his death […]
Dude Freaks Out Neighbors with Firework Obsession
Greene County, MO—Blowing up bits of China one cracker at a time is Randy Closter’s favorite American pastime. He savors this time of the year like no other and keeps plenty of M80s on hand during the celebration season. This time of the year is held special by many people, however, Closter has a special […]
Land Grab at Battlefield Fireworks Celebration
Springfield, MO—Local Springfield and Nixa residents plan to attend the Battlefield, Missouri’s firework celebration this year completely crashing the party. Springfield’s Firefall, the annual firework celebration, was cancelled after the City cut its contribution to the Springfield-Greene County Parks Department because of a decline in sales tax revenue. Now, Nixa also won’t have its annual […]
MoDOT’s Highway Hijinks Confuse, Entertain
SPRINGFIELD, MO—The Missouri Department of Transportation says this is the best practical joke they have ever pulled and they are enjoying every moment of it. On Monday they unveiled the first interchange of its kind in the United States, and it’s now open in north Springfield. It’s a diverging diamond interchange at I-44 and Kansas […]
Hooligan Attacks Soccer Field With Truck
Springfield, MO—A hooligan motorist was arrested Tuesday at the Cooper Family Soccerplex after launching his pickup truck through a fence, shredding two soccer fields and ramming the truck repeatedly into a concession stand. Witnesses told Springfield police the suspect got out of the truck, walked to the Killian Sports Complex and verbally abused several people […]
Yakov Billboard Explodes
Branson, MO—A prominent billboard featuring famous Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff exploded last night sending debris across both north and southbound lanes of US highway 65. For years the billboard positioned a smiling image of Smirnoff wearing a muskrat full fur Russian hat while holding a stick of dynamite with a lit fuse that proclaimed “danger […]
Dingy Bigger Than Entire Boat
Classic boats were on display at this weekend at Table Rock Lake as important pieces of history. In fact, many boat lovers hit the lake this weekend to mock the 2009 Classics Cruisin’ weekend attendees. Before the festivities took place a christening occurred of The Flying Wasp. The captain of the boat said, “I’ve got […]
‘Nixa Hellhound’ Turns Self In
Nixa, MO — Described as a mutated deer, a hybrid fox/wolfman, and even as a hunchback gorilla, tales of the Nixa Hellhound have spread quickly across the Ozarks this year. Though only a few have seen the creature and even fewer claim to have photographic evidence, stories of the beast eating goldfish from backyard ponds […]
Louie the Mascot Ponders Relationship Status
Springfield, MO—Moments after the bride and groom exchanged vows on the diamond at Hammons Field Saturday, Louie the mascot began contemplating his own relationship status. Having been on the road now for 5 years, Louie has shown signs that settling down may be in his future. “I remember when we, ‘big’ Cards, came to town […]
Soon to Close Dance Club Opens Today
Springfield—A new dance club opened today on South Street in downtown Springfield and according to the owner, Dan Matthews, he can’t wait to be the next in a long line of Queen City dance clubs to shut their doors quickly. “I am thrilled to follow the path forged by Traffic, Club Intensity, Confetti’s and so […]
Branson Airport Celebrated With Congestion
Branson—This past weekend thousands of people gathered to celebrate the opening of the new $155 million Branson Airport in highway 76-style: waiting in traffic. Yes, Saturday hundreds of visitors sat in traffic for hours before even reaching the new facility to enjoy the Branson air show. Branson Mayor, Raeanne Presley, said, “our citizens have a […]
New Airport Terminal Thanks to Terrorists
Springfield—The long-awaited, $115 million Midfield Terminal will open Wednesday, thanks in large part to terrorism. “Yeah, the terrorists have won again, we’re going to move to the new awesome terminal instead of the old shabby terminal that is inadequate for security purposes,” said Kent Boyd from the Springfield-Branson National Airport. The old terminal has run […]
