All Entries in the "Entertainment" Category
Redbox Rentals Suck Life for $1.00
Springfield, MO—Located at area McDonald’s, groceries and other heavily trafficked areas, Redbox vending machines are magnets for long lines of indecisive cretins. “I was in line for 10 minutes to get one movie! Just let me in and I can get my video and get out,” said Springfield native Joey Harbong. When presented with a […]
Villages at Wicklow Welcome Madmartigan
Nixa, MO—According to his agent, the boastful mercenary swordsman Madmartigan, has purchased a house in the Nixa community known as the Villages at Wicklow. Madmartigan plans to move into the new home with his wife Sorsha and adopted daughter Elora before years’ end. The Ozarks have been home to several famous people, however this is […]
Swing Right Golf Adds Water Hazard
Springfield, MO—Local driving range and miniature golf course business, Swing Right Golf, added a new water hazard last week. Water hazards, like bunkers, are natural obstacles designed to add both beauty and difficulty to a golf course. Swing Right Golf owners reportedly wanted to increase the profile of the practice course by situating a natural […]
One Man Rush to Purchase Rams
St. Louis, MO—Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh says he is teaming up with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts in a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. If purchased, it is widely assumed that Limbaugh will institute a Gang of Eight football management style to leverage his experience of on-air offensive lines, piling […]
Line of Disappointed Public Transit Seekers at Trolley’s
Springfield, MO—Occasionally long lines of commuters seeking a ride through the city will form outside Trolley’s, a popular downtown Springfield restaurant. Last weekend more than 35 people assembled waiting to purchase a seat on Springfield’s Trolley. “The sign says ‘Trolley’s’ so there better be a dang ol’ electric powered car to haul my butt around,” […]
SGF Industrial Park Featured On New Quarter
JEFFERSON CITY, MO—Springfield, Missouri’s Partnership Industrial Center park will be featured on a quarter. The manufacturing park surrounding the 21 companies located on 360 acres of master-planned industrial park grounds will appear on quarters in 2017. It’s part of the U.S. Mint’s America the Beautiful quarters program that will feature 56 sites in all 50 […]
Cider Days’ Scarecrow Village Fight Over Brain
Springfield, MO—Cider Days marks the beginning of fall for most people living within the city limits. This weekend several thousand people will fill Walnut Street and greet the changing season with a cup of apple cider while taking in the arts and crafts native to the Ozarks area. Seldom few will notice the struggle for […]
Prehistoric Monument Found at Interchange
Springfield, MO— A prehistoric monument was uncovered in southern Greene County today at the U.S. 65-U.S. 60 interchange and dubbed “Springhenge”. The iconic stone monument is composed of earthworks lined in a setting of large standing stones and sits at the centre of the densest complex of Ozarkian and Springfieldian forests in Missouri, including several […]
Art Walk Preferred Over Science Stroll
Springfield, MO—Early reports indicate that when given the choice, Springfieldians would rather attend the monthly Art Walk versus the Science Stroll. Both events occur on the first Friday of the month in separate locations in downtown Springfield. The First Friday Art Walk takes place in multiple galleries situated near the heart of downtown. The Science […]
Idiot Drivers Sport NASCAR Stickers
Springfield, MO—According to recent driving patterns, Ozarks drivers are seemingly permitted to drive like lunatics once they have prominently placed on their vehicle one of many NASCAR stickers featuring their favorite driver. Area drivers should heed the NASCAR sticker as a warning when traveling public thoroughfares. “I could see a vehicle approaching me at a […]
Wonders of Wildlife Spook-quarium and Costume Shop Opens
Springfield, MO—This Fall a traveling costume shop will occupy the American National Fish and Wildlife Museum providing costumes to Halloween participants and converting part of the museum to a haunted house attraction, or “Spook-quarium”. In order to pay down the $52 million bond used to build the facility, officials at Wonders of Wildlife Museum and […]
Nationwide Tour Awaits Next Name Change
The Price Cutter Charity Championship enters its 20th year this summer at Highland Springs Country Club in Springfield awaiting yet another name change. Over the past twenty years the tournament has been know by several monikers including the Ben Hogan Tour, Nike Tour, Buy.com Tour and its current iteration named for Nationwide Insurance. “Well I […]
Ozarks Emperor Very Much Pleased with His Fair
Springfield, MO- Grand Emperor of the Ozarks, Jo Bob Billius, was very much pleased with the glorious fair placed in his honor. Jo Bob traveled down from his majestic mountain fortress of Moon-Shan’gri-La and was greeted by his numerous subjects. Riding a “mule” (a mythical and wondrous beast combining a donkey and a horse) the […]
Mildly Satisfying Home Makeover Edition Location Announced
Springfield, MO—Following the enormous success of ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in Ash Grove, er Bois D’Arc this past week, the announcement has been made that Mildly Satisfying: Home Makeover Edition will be coming to the Ozarks. One local family will be featured on the less than popular Mildly Satisfying: Home Makeover Edition series when […]
Sobbing Prevents EHME Project Completion
Ash Grove, MO—Elation, joy and lip-quivering rejoicing overcame the entire workforce assembled to house a very deserving family this week, delaying the project completion for the first time ever on ABC‘s popular “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” “All of the workers, all the volunteers, absolutely everyone assembled started listening to Ty Pennington speak and once he […]
