All Entries in the "Entertainment" Category
Branson Airport Adds Animal Mounts to Planes
Springfield, MO—Not to be outdone by the Springfield-Branson National Airport’s increase in passengers, the Branson Airport has unveiled plans to add hunting trophies to the interior of each flight arriving and departing from the terminal. “Most airports have distinct personalities, we have a rustic outdoor sporting feel and the taxidermy has been a welcome addition […]
Tournament of Champions Produces 7 Losers
Springfield, MO—Moral victories will be handed out this weekend at The Tournament of Champions as eight elite basketball teams battle it out to produce seven eventual short comers and one true champion. TOC execs confessed that “Tournament of Champions” tends to have a more positive spin and sells more tickets than the more accurate named […]
Mystery Hour Replaces Tonight Show on KY3
Springfield, MO—Citing a need to improve ratings for local late-night news, KY3 has announced that The Mystery Hour will replace The Tonight Show following the Winter Olympics. Sources say the “Leno effect” played havoc with many of NBC‘s more than 200 affiliates, where Leno’s weaker “lead-in” is undermining audiences of 10 p.m. newscasts. News programs […]
Auditions For Reality Show Coming to Dade County
Greenfield, MO—Bravo TV has announced plans for a new reality series to be filmed in the Ozarks. Auditions for “The Real Housewives of Dade County” will be held on January 22 at the Opera House in Greenfield. According to a spokesman, Bravo TV was drawn towards Dade County as a way to grow the “Real […]
Ice Cycle-Slyde Opens After Snowfall
Springfield, MO—Snowy weather provided the catalyst for a Ice Cycle-Slyde, a new booming business located at the former Hydra Slyde site. Several teenagers attended the grand opening with their inner tubes, plastic sleds, steel runner mini toboggans and snow boards. “A dude named Chip was taking a $5 entry fee; I don’t think he really […]
John Q de Hotelier Statue Announced
Branson, MO—New statue plans were announced today to honor James Quentin Hammons, the holiest of hoteliers. Known as an American businessman and one of the nation’s premier developers of upscale luxury hotels and resorts, “John Q”, has conveyed a message of representing the general public and progress in Springfield, Missouri and beyond. Overlooking Table Rock […]
Local Bums Ride Train Posing As Santa
Branson, MO— The Branson Scenic Railway’s Polar Express has become overrun with hobos and train jumpers claiming to be Saint Nick. Unsavory transients have flocked to the inaugural officially licensed train ride event near the Branson Landing due to the ease of hitching a ride. “Sure we just go ‘round and come back, but it […]
Knievel to Perform “James River” Jump at First Night Springfield
Springfield, MO—Ramp construction at Hwy 65 and James River Freeway is nearing the final stages for the Robbie Knievel “James River” jump on December 31st. First Night Springfield organizers are excited to announce that the daredevil has visited the site numerous times to inspect the progress and take measurements prior to his record-breaking jump in […]
Secret Society Implements Symbol in Springfield Road Construction
Springfield, MO—Conspiracy theorists are claiming that the FreeDiamonds, an underground group in the Ozarks, is implementing a wicked secret symbol in the construction of diverging diamonds into everyday society. The existing and proposed locations of these traffic designs are said to form a satanic goat head with four existing points that represent fire, water, earth […]
BPS Attraction Rejects US Currency
Springfield, MO— Due to the declining value of the United States dollar, tourism officials at Bass Pro Shops have decided to no longer accept the American currency at the request of King George. Specifically, the Bass Pro Shops alligator, King George, has requested that no US quarters be tossed into his swamp exhibit. He does, […]
Nixa Athletics Logo to Change
Nixa, MO—Given the close proximity to the Philadelphia Eagles existing logo, the Nixa school district is considering new unique designs to avoid any legal ramifications. After an exhaustive search online, several new designs have been identified. The public is welcome to vote for their favorite design here. “Our current logo was designed by a person […]
Middle Aged Woman’s Head Explodes Due to Celebrity Appearances
Springfield, MO—Early Friday morning Julie Trumble, a middle aged woman, experienced a head explosion as she realized three of her favorite celebrities were in the Ozarks. Sarah Palin, Kathleen Turner, and John Tesh have all graced the Queen City with their presence over the past few days, causing hysteria and general hoopla within the female […]
SNL Honors FCN
Springfield, MO—Saturday Night Live recently honored Fair City News by bringing “Catch the Swine Fever” to life in a sketch that aired nationwide on NBC November 7, 2009. The original FCN story posted April 28, 2009 and was picked up by SNL writers who comb the Internet’s best satire websites searching for material. On Monday, […]
Springfield WolfPack Pick Up Larry Johnson
Springfield, MO—Team officials announced that the Springfield WolfPack will be picking up former Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson Jr. for the upcoming indoor football season. Head coach Mike Burris said, “we’re taking it one game at a time, LJ gives us a great chance to compete week in and week out.” Johnson was […]
