Branson’s “Number Ones” Raided

Numerous number one claims investigated

Branson, MO - Fourteen Branson theaters learned that the Federal Trade Commission’s Division of Advertising Practices have been conducting an investigation into their advertising practices when they were raided by agents on Monday morning shutting down most matinees. While the federal investigators refuse to comment on the nature of the investigation, two theater owners requesting anonymity, say that they have had tedious and repetitive questioning regarding factual support of statements in their advertising that they have been “voted Branson’s best” or “voted Branson’s number one” theater.

False or misleading advertising includes claims by businesses that are untruthful or deceptive or give the reasonable consumer the wrong impression about a product or services they wish to purchase.  A drive down the Branson strip today revealed by a quick and non-scientific count that as many as 17 theaters claim to be “voted” as the “best” or “number one” show. When asked which Branson show was voted best, a tourist from Harrison, Arkansas replied “there can only be one?” The anonymous theater owners said they stressed to the agents that their ads never say who voted their show number one with one owner noting that “Granny Bilsley always said that if she’d get a vote, our show is always number one”.

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Branson 76 Stripper Tea Party organizer, Biff Stratewite, has called for protests against federal agents by waving American flags in front of any sign being photographed by agents.  Stratewite claims that the federal government is targeting Branson theaters because of the core conservative values expressed in Branson shows, like love of country and love of God.  “The government sees that when we sell those values, America is buying and they [the government] don’t like it”.   He added, “after all, no city in the country loves veterans like Branson”.

News of the investigations and raids has startled many business owners, including many of those in Springfield that have paid their way on to one of Springfield’s many “best of” lists.  Mindy Jansen, publisher of SPFDMO Magazine says that her publication is consulting an attorney regarding the publication of their annual “Springfield’s Best Lawyers” edition that comes out each August.  She is “confident they will be fine because their attorney was second on the 2013 list”.