Square Rats Have Christmas Tree Set

Emo Tree with large generous gifts

Springfield, MO – To celebrate the holiday season, a giant Christmas tree has been placed on the square by the tough personalities who hang out downtown. The ‘Emo Tree’ was a symbol of unity among those who spend most of their days sitting, standing or laying around the square.

“I think the Emo Tree is a reminder that we can settle our disputes in less vicious ways, knife fights can be scaled down to an exchange of cigarettes. Conflicts around whose corner is whose are largely non-existent while the giant fir looms over us,” said square stumbler Tom ‘Tits’ Hankerson.
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City officials were pleasantly surprised to see the huge tree appear and have no plans to remove it in the near future. “If the tree is still standing after Jan 1, we’ll take a look at what needs to be done. But the ruffians who hang at the square are very responsible and I don’t anticipate needing to clean up after then,” said Officer Mals Twightly.

Giant gifts have also been placed under the Emo Tree and for the most part, remain safe. “I don’t think anyone wants to steal from the people on the square, especially their gifts. That would be terrible this time of year,” said Hankerson, “We’re looking forward to a nice Christmas dinner under the pavilion.”