Citizens Celebrate End of Election Advertising

Revelers take to the street to celebrate an end to political ads

Springfield, MO – This election season has united the Ozarks populace with one resounding result: the end of political advertising. Campaign advertisements have inundated members of all parties for several months and political messaging has seeped into every expression of life, on the side of the highway, in front yards, on radio, online annoyances and even the crazy woman down the street who tried to breed a donkey with an elephant.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with my spare time now,” said Natasha Victorson, “I used to curse the other party’s onslaught of ads shown between my reality/talent shows on TV. Now I’m going to actually be able to enjoy my life without the minute-by-minute reminders that ‘someone could help me more than the other person’.”
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Richard Litherton, a political consultant who wished to remain party-less claimed, “Career politicians should save a fund at the end of an election to purchase white ad space on network TV. This space could be used to show people hugging, laughing people of different colors, general happiness and cooperation. Could you imaging thirty seconds of calming music with no agenda tied to it? That’s what I want from my politicians. An apology present for months of attempted brainwashing.”

Groups from every political persuasion are gathering together to celebrate the end of the political season this weekend at Big Cedar where they plan to joyously watch tomato sauce, toilet paper and chewing gum television advertisements.