Archive for January, 2015
Local Senior Wondering When Dillons Will Be Open
Springfield, MO – Local senior Nancy Newman once again drove her 1994 Buick Regal through the parking lot of the old Dillons on West Kearney wondering when exactly the long time grocery chain would be open again. “I’ve been coming every day since December 24 trying to buy my Metamucil and soap opera digest magazines.” […]
KHS Unveils New Cafeteria & Mascot Name: Poochies
Springfield, MO – Recent renovations revealed a new gathering space and new rally cry for the Chiefs of Kickapoo High School: Poochies was released as a new catch-phrase during the cafeteria grand opening and several students and alumni are mixed on the subliminal announcement. “I mean ‘poochie’ is a term of endearment but I don’t […]
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Iconic Solo Cup to be Painted Red, Shipped to Toby Keith
Springfield, MO – According to the developer, musician Toby Keith has agreed to purchase and ship the iconic giant concrete Solo Cup at 1100 North Glenstone in Springfield saving it from demolition. Keith plans to paint the cup red and relocate it to Dream Walkin’ Farms, his 160-acre ranch, outside of Norman, Okla. Keith said, […]
Bucktoothed, Barefoot Baby Born in Ozarks Somehow Surprises
Branson, MO – Doctors were seemingly surprised by a recent birth when the child appeared with a head-start on life in the Ozarks: barefoot and bucktoothed. The chances of a child representing over 80 percent of the population are one in 3,000 according to the US National Library of Medicine. “When we saw the baby […]
Customers Complain about USPS Cuts via Email/Social Media/Instant Message
Springfield, MO – Thousands of angry USPS customers are taking to electronic media to complain about the recent budget cuts forcing delay of first class deliveries. Hours after the announcement, several “save the USPS” sites appeared on Facebook and the hashtag #saveUSPS began trending on Twitter. Side Effects Due to the body not being […]
