Screaming Soccer Mom Orgasms On Sideline

Display of encouragement self-satisfying

Springfield, MO – Cries of “Yes, yes, yes!” & “Go! Go! Go!” as well as “Faster! Go! Yes!” were heard during a children’s soccer tournament this weekend at Lake Country Soccer Fields, confirming suspicions of several bystanders that the lady jumping around was in fact having an orgasm on the sidelines.

“What the hell are we witnessing?” said one soccer parent while shielding the eyes of her younger child, “this lady was either way crazy or has totally lost herself in the game. I think she really wants to score.”
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Emergency staff were stationed nearby. “We were called in on reports of a woman convulsing. When we got here we found the ‘Yes! Go! Score!’ lady and weren’t sure if we should sedate her or offer a wet nap so she could clean herself up,” said one first responder.

According to staff, these women tend to appear around tournament time and are usually out of towners. “We see an increase when away teams arrive. Usually the volume of cheering increases but this was an exception. Some parents reportedly saw her smoking a cigarette after the game and cuddling a Manchester United blanket.”