Person Dancing to “Happy” Angers Drivers

Driver car-dancing to “Happy”

Springfield, MO – Several motorists driving south on Glenstone reportedly witnessed one horrifying act after another, as the driver of a sub-compact car sang and danced to Pharrell Williams hit song “Happy”. Reports included displays of awkward dance moves including a shoulder hunch, random rapid finger points and multiple waves at other drivers.

“What was that middle class ass clown thinking waving at me?” said Georgia Hillshirtness, a grandmother to 6 near Sparta, “I wasn’t enjoying the spectacle one bit. He should have had his hands on the wheel. That’d make me happy.”
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The Missouri Department of Transportation has issued a warning to anyone driving while listening to a radio when “Happy” is broadcast. According to the press release drivers should avoid any temptation to dance along with the music and instead focus on the road and conditions around them. The release also stressed the need to watch for others who might be jamming to the hit single.

“I always knew a new-fangled radio box in the motor cars would be dangerous,” said Hillshirtness, “but I never expected people to mistake their vehicle for the dance hall.” As of press time approximately 25,000 motorists had car-danced to the song during the past 24 hours in the Ozarks alone.