St. Louis Arch Adds McDonalds To Observatory

Critics fear a total Arch takeover

Springfield, MO – Local McDonald’s franchisee Dom Kittles announced that his company secured the rights to place a restaurant in the top of St. Louis’ Gateway Arch and plans to open this summer. The contract came as a surprise to Kittles who considered his business as a longshot for the opportunity.

“The news was great, shocking even. To be included in a historic venture such as this is quite exciting to say the least,” said Kittles. Preliminary plans call for a small footprint complete with freezer, grill and fryers. Guests will travel the existing elevators and have the opportunity to grab a Big Mac once they reach the top.
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“It sounds great…just a little tight. I’ve been up there several times and I really don’t see how they are going to fit much of anything inside the observation deck, but I guess they know what they are doing,” said Robyn Jons, one curios potential customer.

The grand opening is rumored to include an appearance by Mark McGuire, but is unconfirmed. “That would make sense,” said Jons, “McGuire at McDonald’s in the Arch seems like a natural pr plug.” Others aren’t so sure. “I’m not a conspiracy theory type of person, but I sure as heck don’t want to see plans for the addition of another arch to ‘the Arch’ and then painted yellow,” said Daniel Magdits.