Ozarkers Thankful for Endless Winter

Springfield, MO – Residents had reason to celebrate yet another winter storm this week as thundersleet, snow and freezing temperatures blanketed the Ozarks. Locals had feared that another winter weather pattern wouldn’t been seen until next year but those fears were relieved when the old man winter crapped out another round of shitty weather.

“I was really hoping that Spring would be delayed. When the groundhog saw his shadow I jumped for snowy joy. But we were going on 15 days with a school closing and I was worried. The fact that we had 2 solid weeks of school between snow days was almost as much as I could handle,” said mom of 2 Doris Hinderson, of Springfield.

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According to music lover Tommie Blech, the Beach Boys should record an album celebrating snow sledding, making snow angels and driving slick streets and call the effort “Endless Winter”.