Polar Vortex Hovered Over Local Man

Polar Vortex as seen over local man

Springfield, MO – According to witnesses, the Polar Vortex followed a local man wherever he went yesterday, instantly dropping temperatures and freezing many businesses into closure. Jim Wunmertale said he first noticed the change when he left his home to take out the trash.

“In the morning, I looked up and there was a black-silverish cloud formed over my head, it was spinning like a tornado and had ice and snow spitting out of it. Must have been 200 feet in the air. Scared me right back into the house,” said Wunmertale.

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Wunmertale said he assumed the bad weather was a poor omen but never expected it to be the Polar Vortex causing uncommonly frigid weather across the Midwest that is threatening to break some all-time-low temperature records. “When I found out it was THE Polar Vortex I was kinda in awe, proud even that this was attached to me.”

He claims that the Vortex rotated above him until 4:30 CST when he juked left and turned right down an alley in downtown Springfield. “I had just tired of the novelty of it all, time to move on.”