Man Celebrates Keeping Year Long Resolution

Man easily resists doing this

Springfield, MO – Local dude Charlie Twittens celebrated completion of his year-long resolution today to avoid eating goldfish. The resolution was the first that Twittens has ever been able to keep for a full 365 days.

“I’ve tried to quit smoking, cursing and eating bad foods, but I always came up short. This past year I decided it was time to make a resolution that was more achievable. And I did it!” said Twittens.

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Twittens has renewed vigor and confidence heading into 2014. He is currently deciding between many New Year’s resolutions and will verbalize his selection at the stroke of midnight. Some of his choices include no more bathing in motor oil, calling family members twit-headed snaggle-sicles and punching poodles in the back.

“I’m glad that Charlie is able to take pride in this achievement,” said longtime friend Gail Ujimbers, “I’ve never known anyone to keep a resolution and that just makes Charlie extra special in my book. I may take a page of that book and resolve to not stick my tongue into blenders so I can feel the joy of succeeding next year.”