Downtown Preacher to Address Court with Microphone and Amplifier

Most people’s perception

Springfield, MO – Described as noisy, annoying and filled with the obnoxious spirit, one downtown preacher has received at least seven tickets for disturbing the peace and plans to represent himself with his self-proclaimed talent for rhetoric coupled with an amplifier and microphone.

“This preacher likely saw the Sham-wow guy and thought, ‘hey, I too can be annoying and get attention with a mic and an amp’,” said square resident Gailey Ponders, “Every time I hear his voice my brain convulses like a heroin addict on withdrawal.”

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Greene County prosecuting attorney assistant Paul Yolibth suggested that “someone who has habitually been cited for disturbing the peace might be sentenced to reprogramming consisting of 12-hour blocks of nothing but Ozzy Osbourne talking incoherently. That seems like a fitting end to someone in this position.”

The downtown preacher is undeterred and plans to carry forth with his plan of shock and annoyance veiled by thin freedom of speech claims.