Springfield Create Elite “Over Due Books” Task Force

Officer searching for overdue literature

Springfield, MO – With a country in crippling debt, many Springfield politicians are finding ways to make sure their city does not fall into the same trap. Luckily Springfield officials found a veritable money pit sapping funds from the otherwise tight budget: overdue library books.

“We are losing hundreds of dollars a decade on this problem,” states a Ray Burtberry, a city official. “This needs to stop now thanks to our million dollar, state of the art task force.”

The task force is said to be made of the best law enforcers, military personal, and mercenaries money could buy. Each member is given the most advance body armor, a high tech wrist communicator, and for some reason a experiment plasma rifle.

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Many citizens are concerned with the cost of the task force. Mainly the secret underground bunker housing the unit, a tank like vehicle used to drive to extraction points, and the “pre-cogs” (specially created mutants who can foresee in the future when a book will be overdue).

“They just don’t understand, this is a spend big now, save big later,” says Nathan Baxter, a high paid mercenary/contract killer, as he silently enters a window, uses tranquilizer blow dart to incapacitate the family members, and grabs an over due book from a coffee table. “We are literary saving hundreds of hundreds of cents a day.”

Other tactics of extraction include: crashing a vehicle their a wall and grabbing their books, sneaking through vents and being lowered down into a living room by a rope, and wearing so, so many disguises.

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