Lost Man Eats Friend to Survive Corn Maze

Cannibalism in the corn maze

South of Springfield, MO – Local buddies Matt Roppen and Jeremy Koffrot had planned to enjoy a scary experience at Campbell’s Farm’s haunted maze and came away with an entirely horrific experience: trapped in the maze for 2 weeks, Roppen was reduced to commit acts of cannibalism in order to survive the corn labyrinth.

Officials were called to the location after neither men reported for work on Monday morning, however search parties failed to find any trace of the pair save a shoe, one belt and a torn shred from a John Deere hat. “We performed a rescue operation for days, hoping to find the men in the corn maze. We eventually switched into a recovery operation, but the maze was just too difficult to solve. Our team was forced to abandon the search after 72 hours to protect our people,” said brigade captain Julio Brennen.
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A Nixa family found Roppen on September 29^th, stumbling though their pasture wearing ripped clothing, panting and carrying the right  arm of Koffrot in his hand. “Little Marie saw him first, she screamed ‘here comes a man with three arms!’ right about dinner time. We looked outside and sure enough, it was a man with three arms. I saw him chewing on a finger when he got close….Lord-a-mercy!” said Hannah L’poffit.

Medics and police were called to the scene about 15 miles south of Campbell’s Farm and Roppen was taken into custody. He claims that Koffrot died in the maze  days ago and his only chance for surviving was to take his friend with him nibble by nibble.