Johnny Morris Made Mayor Of Springfield

New flag to compliment new Mayor

Springfield, MO- With the news breaking of Johnny Morris, founder of Bass Pro, making the Forbes 400 list of richest people in the nation, Springfield has just decided to make him mayor of the city.

“If he could turn a bait-and-tackle shop to a multimillion dollar corporation, what will he be able to do with Missouri’s third largest city?” asks newly appointed Press Secretary Billy Riverun. “And some changes are going to be made.”

Morris as already stated that by the time he is done with Springfield “there will be a trout in every fryer and two deer heads in every living room.”

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Other changes Morris will implement are: revoke conceal and carry because quote “real men carry a rifle strapped to their back, everyone will be given a deluxe tent to drop the homeless rate to 0%, and all government employees will have to wear one piece of camouflage clothing item.

“This will really turn things around,” stated Morris while rotating between petting his golden retriever Duke and chopping wood. “And another thing, I am tired of everyone talking about universal healthcare. Here is your universal healthcare: WALK IT OFF!”

Morris will be sworn in later this week at a ceremony at his hidden game reserve located in the catacombs beneath Bass Pro.

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