Mail-Order Bride Expo

Mail-order bride considering her options

Springfield, MO – This weekend saw a Mail-Order Bride section added to the popular event held at the Springfield Exposition Center on Saint Louis Street. Admission was $5.00 but purchasing a wife was much more expensive.

“We’ve always wanted to enhance our bridal experience and this year we added several new bridal gowns, floral arrangements and even a vegan-chocolate fountain but all anybody wants to talk about is the dang ol’ mail-order bride section we added to the back wing of the center…it’s just the cat’s pajamas in social circles!” said Abigail Fronteneau.

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“Making this process of engagement much easier, we were not only able to hook up 32 new couples but we made a nice profit from our own little love connection,” said Fronteneau, “most of our women are eastern European, Southeast Asia or even Latin America, m-huh, and most of the men are well-ta-do gentlemen who can provide a new way of life for these ladies. Isn’t it exciting!?”

The mail-order bride section featured women who advertised themselves as available to men who could complete a questionnaire on criminal and marital background, provide records from the National Sex Offenders Public Registry database, permit of communication is granted and the man is stinking rich and semi-undead.