Cold Hard Fusion Conference in Columbia

Gettin all Pons n’ Fleischmann on fusion

Columbia, MO — An international conference on low-energy nuclear reactions (LENR) will bring representatives from at least 30 countries to Columbia next week where committed researchers will attempt to gain recognition for cold fusion by infusing some hardcore inner city attitude.

“We’re getting’ all Pons and Fleischmann on this process and we gonna generate some anomalous heat up in the mutha!” said electrochemists Lenny Protag of Springfield, MO, while flashing a C-H-F sign with his fingers, “most playas don’t consider electrolysis of heavy water on the surface of a palladium electrode possible, but my posse is gonna prove those pyroelectric pimps wrong.”

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The 18th International Conference on Condensed Matter Nuclear Fusion will be held at the University of Missouri from Sunday through Friday and organizers are convinced that cold hard fusion reactions actually do happen.

“Yeah boi,” said assistant to the provost for strategic opportunities and program organizer for the conference Jinny Ulatha, “mysterious form of excess heat is like lyrics bouncin’ off my mic, so we gonna hit it real hard to concentrate on investigating how the energy forms.” “How the motha-truckin’ energy forms!” repeated Protag.