Twinkie Booth Opens at Farmer’s Market

Twinkies jump into F-MoO!

Springfield, MO – The Farmer’s Market of the Ozarks (F-MoO!) opened with a new booth this past week, one that features packaged goods including chips, snacks and HFCS-laced drinks. Over 100 vendors peddled home-grown veggies, hand-crafted jams and cheeses, natural meat even moonshine, but none garnered the attention of the “Twinkie booth”.

Vender number 134 chose to remain anonymous during the interview but said, “I think Twinkies are American and should be available at any market, especially one with farmers or my name isn’t Shane Minky.” The man seeking anonymity then claimed, “Shane Minky wants to sell YOU a Twinkie!”
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The packaged food stand also offered sodas, bagged chips, and pretty much anything that would be found in a vending machine. “Twinkies were like on the verge of not-being around anymore so I was excited that we could get them at the Farmer’s Market where all that gross green vegetable stuff is around,” said Kale Pemberton.

F-MoO! representatives stated that the offensive booth set up shop outside of their jurisdiction and was located off the official premises. “Ugh, we try so hard to provide health options that the Twinkie booth was just about enough to make me hoe a row through the booth,” said one exhibitor, “but I was the bigger vendor and simply turned the other organic chestnut.”