Nixa’s Non-chlorinated Water Totally Safe, Sudden Outbreak of Super Heroes/Villains a Total Coincidences
FairCityNews.com | Mar 27, 2013 | Comments 0
Nixa, MO- A new study shows that Nixa’s drinking water is totally safe even without any disinfections to purify the water. The 75,000 dollar study shows that even though Nixa has a very large water system, its water is totally safe to drink. On a totally unrelated note, a variety of super heroes and foes have suddenly appeared in the mild-mannered city.
“Not that I can give away my secrete identity,” said The Crimson Avenger, “but one day I was standing around, doing nothing up enjoying some boiling hot tea, then *BAM* I can fly by creating heat waves and melt metal with my heat ray eyes.”
Other strange powers occurring in Nixa include: super-hearing, X-ray vision, heat vision, telekinesis, telepathy, ablilty to communicate with/control water animals, shape shifting, and fitting into super tight yoga pants.
“I don’t question the “why” and “how” of my abilities or my ridiculously tight and cleavage exposing costume,” says super heroine Animal Girl. One day I was just washing my dog when he shook some water on me – now I can control canines. No big deal.”
But, villains are also appearing such as: Candy Cain, Gun Guy, and Ms. Pain. “We are going to crush the Fairness Brigade no matter what,” said Dr. Vine on his twitter account. “It is crazy to think one day you are watering your plants and the next you can use flora to rob a bank.”
The showdown constant between good and evil is wearing on the populace, but they are all glad their water is safe.
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