Hobo Trap Set Downtown!

Giant cage baited with cans, broken dreams

Springfield, MO – A giant cage used for catching hobos has been placed on west Phelps Street in downtown Springfield. Baited with loose cans and broken dreams the trap is part of a plan to rid the city streets of unsightly vagabonds.

City Officials hope that the new effort will revitalize a once vibrant neighborhood. “We once had vendors lining the streets here, selling goods to factory workers – the area has a lot of character to gain with the elimination of Hobos,” said one spokesperson, “we’re reluctant to go straight to repellants and poisons, we’re going to give this hobo trap a while and see what kind of results we come up with.”

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Locals have speculated that the King Hobo lurks in this area searching for food, recyclables and unreachable dreams. King Hobos, when trapped, are said to release a noxious smell and reveal the secret location of the king’s bindle stick where untold treasure awaits.

“We know there is a hobo jungle nearby. I saw an entire camp of California baskets, banjos and a nickel note right near the Hobo trap location. I bet an ashtray of snipes that we’ll all be eating Mulligan soup soon!” said jungle buzzard Pinko Wolly, who provided insider information to the City in exchange for some spare biscuits.